ARE YOU WEARING A CHRISTMAS JUMPER?

 

Are you wearing a Christmas Jumper?

Well, its contents look rather bumper

The flashing lights I should mention

Are not needed to attract my attention

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 3

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the tent

The creatures were stirring with malicious intent

They wriggled and crawled they chewed and they bit

As they made themselves a festive feast of it

LAST CHRISTMAS

 

Last Christmas

We got the winter vomiting virus

It wasn’t nice

And it was shared by all of us

It was the worst

We didn’t see much Christmas cheer

I tell you one thing

We’ve just asked for money this year

RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER

 

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer

Had a very shiny nose

And if you ever saw him

You would even say it glows

All of the other reindeer

Laugh and call him awful names

And they leave poor Rudolph

To play his little snorting games

So, on every Christmas Eve

Santa’s heard to say: 

If you give up the cocaine

You might pull may sleigh again

 

But all the reindeer knew him

And his love for nose candy

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

Santa’s little coke junkie

SANTA’S TOYS

When Santa was a boy

No bigger than an elf

He was in the workshop

Making toys himself

But he has no time now

For making his own toys

Because he’s out delivering

To all the girls and boys 

CHRISTMAS AGAIN

 

The advent candle is lit again

The Christmas cards are writ again

Beneath the tree gifts sit again

We’ve overspent a bit again

 

The Christmas table is set again

Our loved ones are met again

We drink a toast of wet again

And say merry Christmas yet again

COMPLETE CHRISTMAS

 

I wrapped the presents from me to you,

Only a few more things now left to do

I must hang up the bunch of mistletoe

Pour the wine and turn the lights down low

And when we cuddle up together on the seat

My Christmas really will be complete