Santa’s little helpers, the first contacts,
Have all been
given revised contracts
They will
be known by the Santa Claus’s
From this
year on as subordinate clauses
Monday, 5 December 2022
GROTTOS GO LEGAL
NORTHERN LIGHTS
We have just learned
Candles may
not be burned
In Santa’s
workshop
The practice
has to stop
A spokesman
claims
That elfin
safety is to blame
BRITISH AIRWAYS AND THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
On the first day of Christmas dear BA gave to us
An apology
from Willie
On the
second day of Christmas dear BA gave to us
A two
fingers sign
And an
apology from Willie
On the
third day of Christmas dear BA gave to us
Three
defiant statements
A two
fingers sign
And an
apology from Willie
On the fourth
day of Christmas dear BA gave to us
Four court injunctions
Three
defiant statements
A two
fingers sign
And an
apology from Willie
On the
fifth day of Christmas dear BA gave to us
Five text
alerts
Four court injunctions
Three
defiant statements
A two fingers
sign
And an
apology from Willie
On the
sixth day of Christmas dear BA gave to us
Six
insincere placations
Five text
alerts
Four court injunctions
Three
defiant statements
A two
fingers sign
And an
apology from Willie
On the
seventh day of Christmas dear BA gave to us
Seven check
in closures
Six
insincere placations
Five text
alerts
Four court injunctions
Three
defiant statements
A two
fingers sign
And an
apology from Willie
On the
eighth day of Christmas dear BA gave to us
Eight curt responses
Seven check
in closures
Six
insincere placations
Five text
alerts
Four court injunctions
Three
defiant statements
A two fingers
sign
And an
apology from Willie
On the
ninth day of Christmas dear BA gave to us
Nine empty
gestures
Eight curt
responses
Seven check
in closures
Six
insincere placations
Five text
alerts
Four court injunctions
Three
defiant statements
A two
fingers sign
And an
apology from Willie
On the
tenth day of Christmas dear BA gave to us
Ten more
cancellation
Nine empty
gestures
Eight curt
responses
Seven check
in closures
Six
insincere placations
Five text
alerts
Four court injunctions
Three
defiant statements
A two
fingers sign
And an
apology from Willie
On the
eleventh day of Christmas dear BA gave to us
Eleven
false alarms
Ten more
cancellation
Nine empty
gestures
Eight curt
responses
Seven check
in closures
Six
insincere placations
Five text
alerts
Four court injunctions
Three
defiant statements
A two
fingers sign
And an
apology from Willie
On the
twelfth day of Christmas dear BA gave to us
Twelve days
of hell
Eleven
false alarms
Ten more
cancellation
Nine empty
gestures
Eight curt
responses
Seven check
in closures
Six
insincere placations
Five text
alerts
Four court injunctions
Three
defiant statements
A two fingers
sign
And an apology
from Willie
DO YOU KNOW THIS MAN?
What would you call a man?
With a big
belly and no dress sense
Who never
replies to your letters
A man
that’s too lazy to shave
And is
obsessed with stockings,
Who can
only be relied upon for one day a year
Will never
stop to ask for directions
A man who only
owns one suit
Never gets
you the present you asked for
And needs
to be rewarded with food and drink
Oh, and
always leaves the dirty dishes
Well, what
do you think? Could be any man alive eh?
So, what would
you call this man?
I would
call him Santa
COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS
When Jack Frost is abroad
And the Thanksgiving snow falls
When we hear the first sleigh bell’s ring
Christmas isn’t far away at all
So, make
those lists and join the throng
Of happy
shoppers down at the mall
Sunday, 4 December 2022
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 174
Little Robin Red breast sat upon a tree,
He was joined by his mate, they looked so
twee
They sang their little songs quite lustily
Then I threw a shoe at them you see
Because I didn’t get to bed till half past
three
ARE YOU WEARING ELF EARS?
Are you wearing elf ears?
It’s a very
sweet look on you
So, take me
to your workshop
And do what
little elves do
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