Tuesday, 1 March 2022

I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 3

 

I have given up sex for Lent

Which is to some small extent

An empty gesture on my part

As to stop I’d first need to start

IT’S LENT ONCE AGAIN

 

It’s Lent once again

That time of year

To de-clutter, A time

To tidy and clear

But it’s not the time

To tidy the garden shed

The garage or the loft

Or even under the bed

Lent is the time when

Spring cleaning begins

When we cleanse our souls

And wash away our sins

ASH WEDNESDAY FIRST DAY OF LENT

 

The palm branches blessed on Palm Sunday,

Are the following year, burnt and blessed again

And placed on the heads of the participants

To the accompaniment of the familiar refrain

“Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return”

And the Lenten season has begun once again

LENT

 

This time of year is significant

For what Lent represents

But I have racked my brains

And don’t know what to give up for lent

I really don’t know what to give up

I don’t have a sweet tooth

And I neither smoke nor drink

No vices at all and that’s the truth

So despite its significance

For what Lent represents

I have come to the conclusion

It’s easier just to give up lent

I HAVE GIVEN UP FOR LENT

 

I have given up for lent

Pate de fois gras

Lobster thermadore

And Beluga caviar

Well in a way

I’ve never had them ever

But I won’t have them

Between now and Easter

PUT DOWN # 33

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

When he sidles up to you with his pick up line

Which will be dumb like as not

Just say to him first

“Hi I know a village that’s looking for and idiot”

IT’S LENT ONCE MORE

 

It’s Lent once more

A time to cleanse the soul

Empty the trash

And let Christ keep us whole

 

Clear the spam

Empty the buffers of sin

Deny yourself

And let the lord back in

 

It’s Lent once more

Pray to your saviour for peace

Cleanse your soul

Then your penance can cease