(Sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)
Single
girls, single girls
They go all
the way
Oh! what fun it is to ride
On a single
girl today
(Sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)
Single
girls, single girls
They go all
the way
Oh! what fun it is to ride
On a single
girl today
I bought a bumper selection
Of
Christmas cards today
One hundred
assorted cards
A real
bargain I would say
But not a
shepherd or angel
Nor a
stable, a star or a king
Not a holy
word of praise
No Jesus,
no God not a thing
I told my
wife of my disgust
She said
not to make a fuss
But they
had managed to take
Christ out
of Christmas
If you wake up and feel like hell,
And if you really feel quite unwell
Then that
is the best way for you to tell
That you
really did Christmas well
Well, I think it has happened
It is my
darkest fear
Christmas
is getting earlier
Each and
every year
When I was
at the mall today
I heard
Bing Crosby croon
“White
Christmas”
And it’s still
only June
There isn’t any doubt or question
What caused
this awful indigestion
It wasn’t
the five-course lunch
Or all the
sweets we had to munch
It wasn’t
the Lager the Stout or the Shandy
It wasn’t
the Wine the Scotch or the Brandy
No the
culprit without any doubts
Was the
obligatory spoonful of sprouts
When the gifts have all been opened
And the
season starts to wane
When
December days have passed by
And a New
Year starts again
Let’s pack
away the decorations
But let the
love and peace remain
The crowds are bustling
On the busy
Christmas streets
The throng
is blustering
In search
of Christmas treats
Tills are
ringing out their Christmas song
In the markets
and the shopping mall
Everyone
gets a piece of the action
Street
traders, vendors, buskers and all