Sunday, 26 December 2021

SINGLE GIRLS

 

(Sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)

 

Single girls, single girls

They go all the way

Oh! what fun it is to ride

On a single girl today

CHRISTMAS CARD SELECTION

 

I bought a bumper selection

Of Christmas cards today

One hundred assorted cards

A real bargain I would say

 

But not a shepherd or angel

Nor a stable, a star or a king

Not a holy word of praise

No Jesus, no God not a thing

 

I told my wife of my disgust

She said not to make a fuss

But they had managed to take

Christ out of Christmas

BOXING DAY MORNING

 

If you wake up and feel like hell,

And if you really feel quite unwell

Then that is the best way for you to tell

That you really did Christmas well

CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY

 

Well, I think it has happened

It is my darkest fear

Christmas is getting earlier

Each and every year

 

When I was at the mall today

I heard Bing Crosby croon

“White Christmas”

And it’s still only June

CHRISTMAS OVER INDULGENCE

 

There isn’t any doubt or question

What caused this awful indigestion

It wasn’t the five-course lunch

Or all the sweets we had to munch

It wasn’t the Lager the Stout or the Shandy

It wasn’t the Wine the Scotch or the Brandy

No the culprit without any doubts

Was the obligatory spoonful of sprouts

 

WHEN THE GIFTS HAVE ALL BEEN OPENED

 

When the gifts have all been opened

And the season starts to wane

When December days have passed by

And a New Year starts again

Let’s pack away the decorations

But let the love and peace remain

THE CROWDS ARE BUSTLING

 

The crowds are bustling

On the busy Christmas streets

The throng is blustering

In search of Christmas treats

Tills are ringing out their Christmas song

In the markets and the shopping mall

Everyone gets a piece of the action

Street traders, vendors, buskers and all