I went to the pub with my brother
For a
Christmas, lunchtime drink
While my
wife cooked the dinner
And washed
up at the sink
We got
thrown out at 4 o’clock
Full of
Christmas cheer and gin
We got home
ready for Christmas lunch
And found it in the bin
Mildred went to the post office
To
buy stamps for her Christmas cards
“What
denomination do you want?”
She
was asked by Mr Everard
“That’s
political correctness gone mad,
Has
it come to this?” said she
“You’d
better give me a book of Catholic
And
a book of C of E”
It was Christmas eve at the magistrate’s court
And
the Magistrate was in charitable mood
And
in keeping with the season
Was
inclined to show a little latitude
"Now
then, what is the charge against you?"
He
asked the unfortunate prisoner
The
man in the dock replied
"I
was caught Christmas shopping very early sir"
"That
doesn't seem like an offence to me.
What
do you mean by “very early” man”?
"Well,
your Honour." said the defendant,
"It
was an hour before the shop was open."
The lord protector Oliver Cromwell
Killed
thousands, the truth to tell
Beheaded
the king and closed hostelries
And
he cancelled the Christmas festivities
Cards adorned with Robins and snow
Holly
sprigs and festive candle glow
Advent
calendar and paper chains
Decorations
never to be used again
Ribbons and
bows and paper wrapping
With tree
and wreath all go in the bin
Though
Christmas may be throw away
The love
can be recycled every day
Merry Christmas
Yuletide
friend
Cherished
memories of
Heartfelt
love and
Remembered
moments
Instantly
recalled
Special
moments of
Time spent
together
Merry
Christmas’s
And happy
new years
Special
friend of mine
For me
always
Remembering
your smile
Instantly
helps me
Each time
I’m down at
Not being
with you
On White Thursday
It’s St
Chewidden’s Day
He’s
revered by “Tinners”
Since their
heyday
For sharing
the secrets
Of Smelting
they say
(On the
last clear Thursday before (i.e. at least one week before) Christmas)
