DO YOU KNOW WHY THE CHRISTMAS ALPHABET

 

Do you know why the Christmas alphabet

Is one letter short? Then I will happily tell

There are only twenty five letters in it

Because the Christmas alphabet has Noel

CHRISTMAS IS WHEN I TRY TO BE UNUSUALLY KIND

 

Christmas is when I try to be unusually kind

And compassionate to those around me

Not that I’m a good person, it’s just because

I don’t know who my Secret Santa will be

I DON’T WANT A LOT OF FANCY PRESENTS

 

I don’t want a lot of fancy presents

Tied with bows and ribbon curls

I only want one thing for Christmas

And that’s Santa's list of naughty girls

FAIRY TRADITION

 

One Christmas, a long time ago

Santa Claus was trying to prepare

For the biggest night of the year

But events left him in despair

 

A flu epidemic hit the North Pole

And decimated the Elves

And a shortage of helpers

Meant there were empty shelves

 

The reindeer were rebellious

And Rudolph’s nose was Normal

His parcel sack had a hole in it

And Mrs Claus was menopausal

 

As a result of all his trials

He was not in the best frame of mind

So when a Fairy approached him

With good intent and being kind

 

Who was carrying an evergreen

And the Fairy asked cheerfully
“Where would you like me to put

This lovely Christmas Tree?”

 

Because of his really bad mood

He answered her unseasonably

And thus began the tradition

Of a Fairy atop the Christmas tree

MY DAUGHTER WAS GIVEN A NOVELTY GIFT

 

My daughter was given a novelty gift

Which really wasn’t intended to confuse

But the look on her face was a picture

When she held a pair of chocolate shoes

WHEN GINGERBREAD MEN SLEEP

 

When a gingerbread man lays

On his bed Perchance to sleep

He does so every single night

Laying down on a cookie sheet

GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER

 

Grandma got run over by a reindeer

When into the roadway she strayed

It was an accident waiting to happen

Because Santa Claus was totally slayed