In his adventure’s against
Captain Hooks pirate
band
Peter Pan always flies
Sunday, 7 November 2021
CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE
“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire”
That’s Christmas day with Stephen
But I only have myself to blame
For marrying a sodding vegan
RISQUÉ OR RUDE
If you do something at Christmas
That’s either risqué
or rude
Then don’t be at all
surprised
If it ends up on Yule
Tube
INSULTED SANTA
The local shopping Mall Santa
Turned out to be a very grumpy chap
When a little girl put a bin bag
down
Just before she sat on
his lap
MY WORST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER # 3
My worst Christmas present ever
Without a doubt, I have
concluded
Was when I received a
box of batteries
Labelled “toys not
included”
IT WAS ANOTHER SUV CHRISTMAS
It was another SUV Christmas
Thanks to my
significant other
No not that kind of
SUV, I got
Socks, Underwear and
Viagra
THREE MEN DIED ON CHRISTMAS EVE
Three men died on Christmas Eve
And were stood before
St Peter
“You must all pass a
simple test
Before you are allowed
to enter”
“So produce a symbol
of the season
Either on or about
your person”
The first man
retrieved a bauble
From his overcoat
pocket
And St Peter turned to
the gate
And proceeded to
unlock it
St Peter said “You are
blessed
Because you have
passed the test”
The next man took a
red bow
From his overcoat
pocket
And St Peter turned to
the gate
And proceeded to
unlock it
St Peter said “You are
blessed
Because you have
passed the test”
The last man took a
pair of panties
From his overcoat
pocket
St Peter stood fast
before the gate
And made no effort to
unlock it
St Peter said “You are
not blessed
Because you have
failed the test”
“In what way do a pair
of knickers
Symbolized the
Christmas season
I fail to see how they
are appropriate
So enlighten me as to
the reason”
So the man proceeded
to explain
“A young woman’s
intimate apparels
Are without a doubt
appropriate
When they happen to be
carols”
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