I TOOK MY DOG TO A BONFIRE PARTY

 

I took my dog to a bonfire party

And he stared at the fire blankly

I twigged as I watched the fiery licks

It was because he loved sticks

In fact, sticks were one of his joys

So, the fire was like a pile of his toys

MY BONFIRE NIGHT CRACKER

 

My Bonfire night cracker

Always good for a thrill

My favourite little sparkler

I like to call “Catherine will”

BANGERS AND SPARKLERS

 

Bangers and sparklers

Weren’t the fireworks

At the Bonfire night party

But the girls I invited

A CARELESSLY DISCARDED MATCH

 

A carelessly discarded match

Can start a forest fire

Yet it takes a whole box

To light your bonfire

FAWKES HAD THE RIGHT IDEA

 

Our Parliament has failed us

Ignoring the voice of Britain’s

And following its own agenda

In the House of Charlatans

Uncanny Christmas Tales – (013) An Unentertaining Christmas

 

Since the advent of Cable, Satellite and Streaming the quality of the entertainment seems to diminish as each Christmas passes.

It used to be bad enough in the old days when there were only three channels to fill, but we did at least get some great Christmas fare.

Now we allegedly have more choice than we have ever had, although I think the reality is that we merely have more channels, and the same or even less quality.

In truth the terrestrial channels can’t really compete although to be honest they don’t even try don’t even try any more to offer anything that we might consider to be of acceptable quality.

Year after year all five channels are packed with a mixture of repeats and things which should never be seen again.

I remember a Christmas not long ago; I can’t remember one single stand out program that appeared on the terrestrial channels that year.

To be truthful it doesn’t have to be the latest Christmas schedule as every one is the same.

The Great Escape, Tom Browns schooldays, Mr Chips and the obligatory Sound of Music.

However, there are sometimes a selection of new dramas though quite honestly, they do tend to flatter to deceive.

I remember one holiday season several years ago where one of the offerings was something called “Uncle Adolph”, God alone knows what they were thinking.

Ken Stott had the lead role, although he was more reminiscent of Groucho Marx than the Fuhrer and at one point good old incestuous Uncle Adolph was sat knocking out a tune on the piano to impress his pretty young niece and I genuinely thought he was going to burst into a chorus of “Springtime for Hitler”, to be quite honest the play couldn’t have been anymore ludicrous if he had.

I do still get my bumper Christmas edition of the Radio Times every year and open it with real hope that this year will be better than the one before, but alas.

 

SANTA ANA AND HIS REINDEER

"Now Vortex! Now Bluster!

Now, Twister and Mizzle!

On, Cyclone! On, Humid!

On, Monsoon and Drizzle!

From their HQ in Exeter!

To the Met office ball!

Now dash away! Dash away!

Dash away all!"