FROSTY THE SNOWMAN REALLY LOST HIS TEMPER

 

Frosty the snowman really lost his temper

And his behaviour was an absolute disgrace

He kept going on about an aggressive carrot

And he kept saying "just get out of my face"

WHEN MY LITTLE KITTENS SETTLE DOWN

 

When my little kittens settle down

On Christmas Eve amidst the snores

The little kitties dream like a child

And they dream about Santa Claws

THE LATEST GOSSIP IS IN FROM THE NORTH POLE

 

The latest gossip is in from the North Pole

And the Claus’s have divorced you know

So why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus?

Because he found out she was a ho ho ho

SCROOGE HATES CHRISTMAS

 

Scrooge hates Christmas

But loves all of the reindeer

And the simple reason for that is

To him every buck is dear

CHRISTMAS PICKUP # 6

 

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

During the Christmas season

Walk up and simply ask her

“If she would like to meet

Santa's little helper?”

MY SISTER WAS AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS

 

My sister was afraid of Santa Claus

The thought of him made her sick

The rest of us all loved him to bits

But she was clearly Claus-trophobic

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SANTA CLAUS

 

The difference between Santa Claus

And a serial philanderer as it goes

Is in essence a total lack of self-control

Because Santa stopped at three ho’s