LET HIM IN

Let god within your heart
Fill the void of darkness
Filled with love and joy
Let his love envelope
Your being
Let him bring light
Where dark once dwelt
Let him bring love
Where hate once ruled
Let him bring happiness
Where sadness held dominion

LOST SOULS

The selfish
Self deluding
Act of release
At the end
The point of serenity
Marking an end
And a beginning
For the one
Peace
A perfect painless peace
An end of heart ache
Physical pain
Emotional sorrow
Loneliness perhaps
For those remaining
Pain begins
Picking up threads
Of a self extinguished life
Tying loose ends
Cleaning up the mess
Hating them
While mourning them
Loving them
While despising them
Coming to termsWith the loss

WHAT?

What darkness
Leads a tortured soul
To break the bonds
Which hold us
Voluntarily

What illusion
So influences
A mind once so rational
To plot its own
Destruction

What delusion
That to escape sorrow
Convinces totally
You reach euphoria
By self release

What question
Asked of a soul
Is so composed
That the answer be
Suicide

BROKEN

Broken arrow
Broken lance
Broken treaty
Wasted chance

Broken thought
Broken thread
Broken silence
Too much said

Broken vow
Broken chain
Broken promise
Alone again

Broken wing
Broken spirit
Broken heart
We wasted it

Broken wing
Broken mirror
Broken glass
I so miss her

I COULD NOT WEEP

I could not weep
As I sat at his side
His hand once as strong as atlas
Now to weak to grip
Weak like a babe
More so

I could not weep
As I watched the frown
Furrowing his weathered face
Grey, expressionless
And as his frown faded,
As the morphine takes control

I could not weep
As he lays motionless,
Breath shallow
Silent, almost
But for the occasional groan
Beneath the morphine

I could not weep
At his deathbed
As the monster within
Crept through his organs
Hastening the end
For him and for itself

I could not weep
As his muscles relaxed
And the pain was no more
As he exhaled his last
And his soul passed
When he was at peace

I could not weep
Not because it wasn’t macho
Nor for lack of love
It was perhaps numbness
Or a need to be strong
For family, others

I could not weep
Not when he was diagnosed
Nor when he released his grip on life
Not even at his funeral
I could not weep
When my father died

WINTER

Standing in the hushed silence
Breath pluming in the frost filled air
Beneath the deep velvet blue of the night sky
Broken only by the myriad of glistening stars
My futile thoughts are lost in its enormity
I’m suddenly startled by my own insignificance
I feel alone, hopeless and helpless
A bitter chill touches my bones
I walk on over the linen shrouded land
Footsteps treading crisply in the white
My breath still plumes though less so
The velvet curtain of night has gone
Hidden behind grey brown clouds
Then the cold frosty night was no more
As the wind freshens against my cheek
And in that instant fresh snow falls
Seemingly silencing my footfalls
Large soft flakes drifting haphazardly
Like confetti on a wedding day
Or cherry blossom in springtime
It fell faster, then faster still
Quickly obscuring my footprints
And blinding my view, disorienting
A bitter chill again touched my bones
The wind now stung my face with snow
As the blizzard of bridle white blew
I bent into the northerly gale
Head down eyes narrowed almost closed
I stopped briefly to catch my breath
Insignificance washed over me again
I knew I must go north into the mouth of it
The silent hush was no more as the blizzard blew
My feet no longer crunched on frost and ice
The deepening snow slowing my progress
Each step I must drag my feet from the snows grip
With each step I grow wearier
Feeling hopeless and helpless
Alone, insignificant and small,
Smaller than a single snow flake
Smaller than the snowflakes around me
A bitter chill again touched my bones
Then suddenly I am again filled with hope
As I pass between the old wrought iron gates
Into the city street beyond and home

IF WE HAD MET AT A DIFFERENT TIME

If we had met at a different time
I would have asked out Charlie
Charlie the beautiful young brunette
Whose voice alone was sufficient to arouse
Hazel eyes that could mesmerize
And her heady perfume was hypnotic
Just to look at her curves stirred my loins
Those perfectly round buttocks
The swing of her hips
And the movement of her breasts
Charlie the beautiful young brunette
With the impossibly long legs
That could have encircled me
In our passionate embrace
She could so easily have been mine
But I stepped away
And I distanced myself from her beauty
Because she was half my age
And because I was not free
I did the right thing
But I still think of what might have been