WHY DO THEY CALL YOU PRUDISH JUDITH?

Hey Jude
I thought you were a prude
Hey Judith
I heard them call you prudish
Are you shy?
Is that the real reason why?
Hey Judith
Is that why they call you prudish?
But damn
When you’ve had a babycham
Wow Jude
You are no goody two shoes
In fact Jude
You are really rather crude
No prude
That I am forced to conclude
Jude I think
That is why you have a drink
As a cure
From being modest and demure
And Jude
When you’re in the mood
To be lewd
You are exceptionally rude
With no prudity
In the manner of your nudity
So Jude
I am forced to conclude
That Judith
Your prudishness is a myth

NEVER JUDGE A BOOK

There is much more to a woman
Than what she can put on show
There is more in the emporium
Than there is in the shop window

Like an expensive Champagne
That a Lambrusco will out fizzle
A woman displaying all her assets
Is invariably all sausage and no sizzle

It’s the homely types that most excite
Hiding their figure neath frumpy dress
Shy and modest to the outside world
It’s the quiet ones who most impress

Beneath sober dress they burn hottest
Much hotter than the most brazen vamp
And when you get them alone they turn
From prim librarian into wanton tramp