Wednesday, 5 December 2012

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 41) St Andrew’s Day

As incredibly satisfying as my evening with Tilly Bushe was I spent the next day sulking.
Not that I wouldn’t reprise our duet given the opportunity and even if I never got to settle on her nest again the image of her magnificent muff would forever reside in my wank bank.
No it was something she said that I was miffed about
“When I first met you I knew instantly that you were a man who wouldn’t be looking for ties and I found that very attractive”
Was that how women saw me?
Someone who only wanted “no strings attached” sex.
Did all the women I bedded read me in the same way?
It wasn’t how I saw my self; I honestly believed I was a good man who was just slightly weak willed when it came to crumpet.
I know my success with women is not due to my being incredibly good looking, and my body though not ripped is in good order but hardly Chippendale standard.
I think my personality carries me a long way and opens doors of opportunity, which I tend to exploit, but I’ve genuinely always believed it was my “Je ne sais quoi” that opened their thighs.
Although I had never really analysed it in depth, I was always too busy enjoying it.
I was still sulking when I headed off to the Church hall for the Roving Angels training, after which I wondered what the hell I had let myself in for.
When I got home I was still in an ill humour.
I had spent the entire day mulling over in my head what Tilly had said and by the end I had concluded that.
I was going to end up with nobody; I would end my days lonely and alone.
My future was just going to be a series of fuck buddies stretching into the distance until I was either struck with impotency or they with the menopause or osteoporosis.
It was not a pleasant outlook.
What depressed me the most was if all the women I slept with thought of me as a “no ties” shag?
Then what was wrong with Georgia?
Why did she think I was a good prospect?
Or would she one-day wake up and see me as I am?
In the end I got really pissed.

The next morning I was up at 5 am and feeling a little thick headed and had wished I hadn’t drunk so much the night before.
I also regretted agreeing to a golf day.
Which was partly the hangover and partly because it wasn’t what I was expecting.
When I was first asked about an St Andrews golf Day I thought it was a round of Golf at St Andrews but alas it turned out to be a game of Golf on St Andrews day.
We were going to play a course in High Wycombe that none of us had played before but it was bound to be an up and down affair, steep hills, long climbs and magnificent scenery.
Still it was always good fun playing with the girls.
I got up and had a long hot shower after which I felt much better.
When I got downstairs I had half an hour to spare before my lift arrived.
I would have had time for breakfast but we had agreed to a cooked breakfast in High Wycombe before our game.
So I spent the time checking I had everything I needed for the day.
Dead on 7 o’clock there was a short sharp “parp” of a car horn, I opened the front door and gave the driver a wave and went back in for my gear.
Pandora was standing by her car, dapper as usual in a mixture of argyle knitwear and tweed.
It was still dark as I walked down the path with my bag slung over my shoulder and simultaneously Judith was making a similar journey down hers.
The original plan was for all four of us to go in Pandora’s Cherokee but it had to go in the garage on Wednesday and was still there, so Judith was driving Victoria in her Fiesta and Pandora was driving me in her Mini, neither car being able to accommodate four people and all the attendant equipment.
It was rather amusing when she first broke the news the Jeep was off the road, firstly because I thought that being off the road was when they were at their best, and secondly because Pandora said to me
“You can come in my Mini”
And when I agreed she announced in the main bar at the club
“Simon’s going to come in my Mini”
There were several spluttering laughs and Judith smiled broadly and Victoria nearly fell off her chair.
But Pandora, bless her, wasn’t aware that Mini was a euphemism for pussy.
We set off from the village together and travelled in convoy all the way and managed a clear run around the M25 and arrived at the Wycombe Hill Golf Club just after 8 am.
It was assumed when we left the village that Pandora had been to High Wycombe before but upon our arrival Pandora said that she hadn’t.
It was a beautiful location in the heart of the Chiltern Hills
The views from the clubhouse were outstanding and around the course they would be truly breathtaking
“Oh Look” Victoria said “a Red Kite”
We all looked to where she was pointing; I was expecting to see a large red paper kite on a piece of string, which of course I didn’t admit when I saw it was a bird of prey.
I wondered if the others thought the same.
We went into the clubhouse, which was very posh, much more so than Bushy Down at any rate and Judith, Victoria and I seated ourselves in the restaurant while Pandora went to register our arrival.

After our rather over indulgent breakfast we all waddled to the lounge and sat down on the comfy sofas and ordered more tea and coffee as we still had half an hour to spare.
There was a TV in the lounge and just as the waitress arrived with our order the weatherman appeared
“In the afternoon the wind will strengthen from the north east blowing in some wintry showers later in the day, more persistent falls are likely overnight”
“So it might get a bit blowy later,” Judith said, “I’m glad I’m wearing my long johns”
“I’m sure it won’t be as bad as when Simon and I got caught in that storm last month”
Pandora said and as our eyes met her cheeks flushed as she remembered that it wasn’t just the wind that got up that day.
Then to save her embarrassment a late news item caught my attention as the reported announced.
“3 soldiers from The Downshire Light Infantry were killed last night when their vehicle was destroyed by an IED in Helmand province”
I didn’t hear the rest as I immediately thought of Dakota and hoped and prayed that she was safe.
Just at that moment as I was muttering a prayer under my breath Pandora handed round the scorecards with a map of the course.
For the nest few minutes we sat in silence studying the map and looking at the yardages.
It wasn’t the longest 18 hole course I had ever played but there were two par threes that looked particularly difficult one was uphill to a concealed green the other from an elevated tee to a concealed green
We all agreed it was going to be an interesting and challenging par 70.
We decided on match play pairs, four-ball format, the lowest score from each pair counting.
As to teams it would be the Fiestas against the Minis.
Most of the game was played in calm dry conditions under a blue sky, with the wind very light.
On the front nine Victoria and Judith were on fire.
And after seven holes they were up by five.
On the par 5, 8th I had a bit of a disaster, I hit a crisp drive
from the elevated tee and it absolutely flew straight down the middle, as Bing Crosby famously sang, and it landed just short of the dog leg, kicked to the right and rolled perfectly round the turn.
So far so good and after such a shot I felt ten feet tall as I strode down the fairway.
When I reached my ball I was about 50 yards ahead of Pandy and I found it sitting up invitingly.
Pandora played her shot first and put it just short of the green just a chip and a putt away.
Judith and Victoria played their shots and were also well placed.
So with an unhindered path to the green I had a real eagle chance.
Slightly ahead of me and to the right was a rather large Rabbit enjoying the autumn sunshine blissfully unaware of what was to come.
I selected my club and addressed the ball
“Just hit it straight” I told myself
I swung the club towards the ball in a perfect ark but I must have lifted my head because there was an ugly contact and the ball sliced away in the direction of the Rabbit.
Now had he just stayed still he would have lived
but alas the sound of the sliced contact startled the Rabbit and caused it to leap vertically in the air straight into the path of the ball and it died instantly.
“There’s one for the kites,” I thought
Now looking back I could have claimed that the Rabbit put me off, but it didn’t really and if the ball had followed its path I would have been deep in the woods possibly even out of bounds
So the Rabbit sacrificed himself to save my par
Luckily for the Minis Pandora chipped and putted to make birdie while the others only managed par.
So with the combination of my extra yardage on the long holes and Pandora putting out of her skin we were all square after the 14th
Which was when a cold wind picked up and dark grey clouds scudded across the previously blue sky.
Victoria then chipped in from the bunker to win the 15th
Pandora sank a 40ft putt to take 16
The 17th was halved and it was all to play for on the final hole
And as we stood on the fairway to play our second shots it started to snow, the light grainy kind but, by the time we had reached the green large fluffy flakes were falling fast
We putted out and the honours were even and as we walked briskly to the 19th for something warming
“Wintry showers be buggered” Victoria said as we put our clubs in our respective cars and changed out of our golf shoes.
After a quick hot drink
Victoria and Judith set off
“Before it gets too bad,” Judith said
“We’ll be right behind you” Pandora shouted
We finished our drinks and Pandy excused herself to the ladies and was gone about 20 minutes.
I put it down to some feminine hygiene issue so I wasn’t too concerned’
There was a rather horny barmaid flitting from table to table with large unfettered breasts and an arse to die for.
And as she kept bending over to wipe down the tables I got a good look at all of her assets from a variety of angles which held my interest for some time.

When she returned looking a little flushed, I took that as confirmation of my diagnosis. Pandora then spent the next ten minutes faffing about; opening and closing her handbag putting her coat on taking it off then putting it back on again
“Shall we make a move then?” I said finally losing patience with her uncharacteristic dithering
“Yes, yes” she replied rather less positive than her words might have suggested
We walked the car rather gingerly slipping and sliding on the fresh snow.
We got in the car and Pandora continued to faff
“Is everything ok?” I asked getting concerned now with her behaviour, which really was out of character,
She was one of the most positive and dynamic people I knew.
“It’s the snow,” she said meekly
“What about it?” I asked
“I’m scared” she admitted, “If I was in the Cherokee I’d be alright”
“Do you want me to drive?” I offered
“You’re not insured” she replied quickly
“Ok let’s phone the girls and see what its like ahead” I suggested
“Good idea” Pandora said
So I phoned Victoria to ascertain the state of the roads ahead and well the word from her was an expletive.
“Its worse ahead than it is here” I told her
“Oh shit,” she retorted then she added
“There’s a nice hotel nearby we could put up there until tomorrow”
“How do you know that?” I quizzed “I thought you hadn’t been to High Wycombe before”
“No I haven’t it was in the bumph the club sent me when I made the booking” she replied
“Ok” I relented “let’s go”
She fair sped out of the car park like Timo Mäkinen, suddenly completely oblivious to the snow.
Five minutes later we passed through the gates of the Chiltern Manor Hotel and spa.
“This will do,” she said
I was suspicious now Pandora had said she had never been to High Wycombe before yet knew the location of the nearest hotel and managed to drive straight there in a blizzard.
“What about the kids?” I asked
“They’re at my mums tonight anyway” she replied
“Convenient” I thought
Pandora opened the door
“Just hold on a minute missy,” I said commandingly
“What?” she replied meekly
“What’s going on?” I asked
“What do you mean?” she responded innocently
“According to you, you’ve never been to High Wycombe before yet you know it well enough to find the nearest hotel which you couldn’t have seen on the way in and you did it in a blizzard” Pandora went to speak but I silenced her with a raised finger.
“At the golf club you were all girly and helpless in the snow one minute and doing handbrake turns like a rally driver the next, on top of which the kids are on a sleepover” I paused briefly
“So what’s going on?” I asked again though I knew the answer
Pandora gave me a sideways glance and blushed
“Were you planning a sleepover of your own?”
She nodded still blushing
“Thank goodness for that” I said and she smiled and then I kissed her
“Why didn’t you just ask” I wondered, “You know what a slut I am”
“I couldn’t do that” she said horrified “that would make me “fast””
”I’m from a different generation,” she continued “so I had to arrange it so you could seduce me”
I was surprised and delighted at the prospect of the playful minx
We had played golf together often enough but we hadn’t “played together” since that stormy day in October
“You’ve done a lot of planning then?” I asked
“Yes” she added rather smugly “which all added to the excitement and the anticipation”
“So what would you have done if it hadn’t snowed?” I asked
“Even you couldn’t conjure up a blizzard on demand”
“Car trouble” she replied
“You deceitful creature” I said “let’s get a room”
Playing golf with Pandora always left me with a stirring down below, the barmaid with the unharnessed tits added to that, but Pandora’s conniving I found incredible horny so I was now nursing a stalk.

Once inside Pandora put down her overnight bag, another clear sign of premeditation, we checked in as Mr and Mrs Smith which caused the receptionist to raise an eyebrow or two when she compared it to the credit card that Pandora handed over, we had already had the “I’ll pay, no I’ll pay” argument and Pandora insisted that she should pay as it was her fantasy.
Then she blushed the most brilliant shade of crimson when she realised she had said it out loud.

We finished registering and as we walked away from the desk I asked
“Aren’t you worried about Graham seeing a charge for a double room on your credit card”?
“No, Graham and I are separated” she answered
“Oh” was all I could think to say
I decided not to pursue it and asked instead
“Do you want to have a drink in the bar before we go up?”
“No I bloody don’t” she responded

As soon we got in the room Pandora dropped her bag on the floor and kicked off her shoes.
I did the same as she slipped off her tweed jacket and deposited that on top of her bag.
“Wow it’s a great room,” I said
“We’re not here for the décor” she retorted and without warning pushed me back against the wall and began undoing my trousers.
After undoing my belt and the releasing the button she yanked down the zip, my trouser descended quickly to my ankles.
Pandora grabbed the waistband of my pants and snatched my cock out of my pants like a greedy child and tugged on it exposing my helmet.
She released my cock and sank to her knees and dragged my pants off my arse until they joined my trousers at my ankles
Then I felt a moist warmth spreading slowly along my stalk until like a warm wet sheath it engulfed me.
I looked down to see Pandy’s tweed capped head moving rhythmically on my shaft and taking it deep in her mouth time and time again
"oh honey” I said to her as she went about her task with enthusiasms “that’s so good”
I reached down and snatched the cap off her head and threw it across the room so I could see her lips around my cock.
Pandora was really relishing her task as she slurped me in and out of her eager lips and I was in ecstasy and it took immense will power on my part not to spaff in her mouth.
I quickly withdrew from her slobbering mouth to the sound of smacking lips and she looked up at me like a child waiting to be praised or rewarded.
I looked from her smug smiling face to my swollen cock still wet with her saliva and I thought
“Dear Pandora will certainly be getting a reward”
Her hands were still on my buttocks I reached around and took them in mine and pulled her to her feet.
She was still looking very pleased with herself as I kissed her smug smiling lips.
I disentangled my feet from my pants and trousers and lifting Pandora off her feet carried her further into the room.
We came to a halt at the foot of the four-poster bed.
I lowered her gently to her feet and our lips parted, I pulled her Argyle sweater off over her head and she did the same with my Pringle.
Then as I bent down and kissed her I unfastened her tweed trousers which fell with little further encouragement directly to the floor.
I looked beyond her as we kissed I eyed her reflection in the mirror, and marvelled once again what a tidy body she had for a forty year old mother, As she stood embracing me wearing only knee length argyle socks and matching green satin bra and pants.
My cock twitched in anticipation of what was to come.
I pushed her gently backwards against the dressing table and
My hands meanwhile reached behind her and I felt the satin sheen of her panties beneath my fingertips.
My hands spread out across her firm buttocks squeezing and kneading them until my fingers reached the waistband of her knickers and grasping the elastic firmly I tugged them off her round cheeks and down her trembling thighs, then I grabbed the gusset and tugged them over her knees and down do her ankles then she extricated her stockinged feet from the tangled lingerie.
My hands were quickly occupied with her naked arse and I stopped kissing her and fell to my knees and pressed my lips against her quivering belly.
Simultaneously I edged her further back against the furniture and having manoeuvred her back as far as she could go, she slid her buttocks onto the dressing table to support her weight while I knelt before her.
I looked up and saw Pandora was biting her lip and then she opened up wide for me to drink deeply of her,
I could smell her lustful odour mixed with expensive perfume, which spurred me on, and very soon I was rubbing my face in her ample perfumed public curls.
Before tasting the salty tang of a Pandora’s juices as she filled the room with salacious moans.
I worked the creamy wet flesh with my tongue as she wriggled and squirmed, moaning and gasping as I sucked at her lips and licked her cunny until she could wait no longer.
Until she grabbed me by the hair and pulled my face away from her hot gash
“Now get on the bed,” she ordered but I kissed her with lips smothered with her pungent fragrance
“I said get on the bed” she reiterated, her cunny juice was around her mouth when I stopped kissing her.
“It’s my fantasy remember” she said, “Now get on the bed”
I obliged and climbed on the bed and lay in the middle of bed on my back
“And take your socks off” she added
I took them off and threw them at her one at a time.
“Take your bra off” I ordered her “and leave your socks On”
“It’s my fantasy” she replied but unfastened her bra and released her beautiful globes and then she crawled along my body and gave me a very smug look as she skewered her hot pussy on my shaft.
Then like a whirlwind Pandora pumped her pussy on me again and again
And each thrust was followed by a grunt
One after another as she satisfied her self on my rod
Pandora had never performed like this before, I was in heaven.
All I could do was grab her arse and be mesmerised by her jiggling jugs.
Her pumping action was quickening
Until she came in a rousing crescendo
And my pulsing cock shot into her mini.
Pandora, panting hard collapsed on top of me.
And let out a low sigh of contentment
“Are you happy now you’ve taken advantage of me?” I asked
“Ohhh yes” she said

Pandora was in the bathroom running a bath while I sat on the sofa with my balls still wet from her deliciously wet cunny lips
I switched on the TV just as the news was starting and the top story was about the snowstorm.
A spokesman from the met office admitted that a lot more snow fell than was expected.
“No shit Sherlock” I shouted at the TV
The next story was about the three soldiers killed in Afghanistan.
And when I saw the photos and heard the names I crossed myself and said
“Thank God” then I said a prayer for the families and friends of the fallen soldiers.
After that I phoned Georgia to explain why I was in a High Wycombe Hotel and not at home skyping her.

Later as Pandora and I soaked in the bath together I asked her
“So are you pleased with the outcome of your scheming”?
“Oh yes” she said “pleased and surprised”
“Surprised”? I queried
“Yes I’ve never done anything like this before, and I’m surprised how conniving I’ve been”
“You did arrange for me to be sitting next to you at the summer ball” I reminded her
“Well that bit was easy,” she confessed “but I had no idea what to do after that, I just relied upon you to take advantage of the situation”
“Which of course I did” I admitted proudly
“Indeed you did” she remembered, “This however took a bit more planning”
“And a bit more deceitfulness” she continued
I thought about it for a minute and then I said
“So the Cherokee being in the garage?”
“A lie” Pandora confirmed
“You being scared to drive in the snow”
“A lie” she confirmed again though I knew that the moment she sped out of the car park.
“The car insurance”
“Another lie”
“I’m shocked and stunned” I said “and strangely aroused”

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