It wasn’t very late, sometime after nine, when I left the club I had cast my net among the available femmes swimming about in the meager pool that was the 19th hole on a Monday night and had caught a crab, yes I know I just mixed my metaphors or got confused between fishing and rowing.
So I meandered my way in the fading light across the 18th fairway towards home where I thought I might as well try and scribble out a chapter or two of salacious smut, which would at least keep the publishers happy.
I was a little bit merry, not that that would hamper my writing in anyway, but it did cause me to stumbled a couple of times but I made it to the trees unscathed.
I used the torch on my phone to negotiate my way through the wood and made it to my garden having only fallen once.
I fumbled for my keys as I made my way down the lawn and my eye was drawn to a faint light through the garage window, at first I thought it might be a reflection but when I turned around there was nothing behind me but darkness.
The garage was what was known as a tandem because it was spacious enough for two cars in tandem i.e. end to end.
The up and over door was naturally at the front of the house and at the rear was a window through which I had seen the light and a door which gave access into the garden I could see as I approached that it was ajar.
I grabbed the handle of the garage door and pushed it gently open and reached my hand in feeling my way to the light switches then I pushed the door open wide and hit the two switches simultaneously.
The two lights came on instantly but one of the bulbs, the one at the rear, blew returning it to near darkness.
I should say that I don’t use the garage to keep a car in; I don’t own one for a start, if I want to drive anywhere I hire one.
So the garage was full of everything and nothing, old pieces of furniture, tools, packing boxes and so on, junk mainly, as a result not much light got from one end of the garage to the other because of everything in between.
When the lights first went on I saw the shape of a figure, just one I thought though I couldn’t be sure then the light went off again and I lost the shape in the gloom and there were a lot of shapes that could have been the intruder.
I switched on my phone torch again and in the gloomy light I thought I saw movement and then I felt a push against my shoulder but it was only a glancing one and I was able to stand my ground and I reached out and grabbed my assailant.
“Got you” I said rather unimaginatively as I bundled the intruder towards my workbench and pinned them there while I got a better purchase on them there was a lot of wriggling and during the struggle I got a whack in the face so using the weight of my upper body I pushed them forward so the hands that they were employing to hit me with had to be used to support themselves.
However they weren’t done yet and alternated hands to have quick swipes at me it was at this point while trying to subdue them that my left hand got a handful of tit, and as I held the small pliant little breast I determined my burglar was female, a bit of a minor adjustment and I transferred my weight forward so I had her completely pinned and with my right hand now free I grabbed hold of her arse and thought to myself its definitely a girls arse, a rather fine example in fact.
I don’t mind telling you that finding someone robbing me made me mad and the struggle had got my blood up and having had just enough to drink to not care about the consequences I am ashamed to say that it crossed my mind to just fuck her there and then.
The struggle seemed to have left her for now but I kept her well pinned down while I considered, seriously considered my next move.
I gave her arse another appreciative squeeze and then fortunately
I sobered up enough so it dawned on me what exactly I was considering doing,
“I don’t do this,” I said under my breath “this isn’t me” and I slapped her buttock hard.
“Get out of here” I said to her angrily although I was really angry with myself.
“If I find you in here again you’ll get more of the same, and next time I might not stop”
I walked to the house and made myself a coffee and sat in the kitchen drinking it, shaking my head at my stupidity and sighing with relief that I stopped my self when I did.
I finished my coffee and went to the cupboard above the sink and got out a new light bulb.
A proper, old fashioned 60w bulb, that lit up to its maximum brightness as soon as you flicked the switch, and not one of those low energy things that only reached maximum brightness as you were about to switch it off and leave the room.
I went back out to the garage and reached up and replaced the bulb it lit immediately and when I looked in front of me I saw a girl sitting on the bench.
A skinny waif like creature, with short mousy blonde hair, in a kind of pixie cut, although I suspect it was more by accident than design, wearing a baggy tee shirt and leggings.
“Didn’t you hear me tell you to go?” I asked her
“Yes” she said meekly
“And what I said I’d do if I caught you in here again?” I said trying to sound menacing as I walked towards her
“So why are you still here” I was directly in front of her now
“It was exciting,” she said quietly
“So I don’t mind if you want to”
“If I want to, what?” I asked
“Do what you did before like you said you would” she said falteringly
“I didn’t mean it” I said, “It was just an idle threat, it was meant to scare you, not turn you on”
“How old are you”? I asked her
“17” she replied
“And what’s your name?
“What were you after in here anyway?”
“I was looking for food”
“Why?” I asked
“Because I was hungry”
“Where are you from? Where are your parents?”
“I live in the village, Potters Lane, with my mum”
“Why hasn’t she fed you?” I questioned
“She’s not well,” she said tearfully
“Come in the house” I said
“I’ll make you something”
I took her in the house and sat her in the kitchen while I made her bacon and eggs, which she polished off in no time flat.
She was sitting drinking a hot chocolate
“Why did you stop?” said Maisie
“Before, why did you stop?”
“Because it was wrong, on so many levels” I said
“Was it because you didn’t think I was attractive?”
“I couldn’t see you remember I could only feel you”
She thought for a moment and asked
“But when you turned the light on and you could see me you didn’t want me” she stated
“So was it because I wasn’t pretty enough”?
“Not at all” I reassured her
“You liked me more in the dark when you couldn’t see me” she was getting agitated
It’s true she wasn’t stunningly beautiful but there was something about her elphin features, a distinct cuteness, she was a tomboy certainly but quite sexy.
I didn’t say that to her though
“It wasn’t because I didn’t like what I saw, it’s more complicated than that, I do think you are pretty”
“You don’t think I look like a boy?”
“No I think you look like an urchin” I corrected her and smiled
“Seriously do you think I’m ugly?”
“No I don’t, why would you think that?”
“Everybody thinks I’m ugly and worthless” and she started to cry
“Even my mum” she said between the sobs
I went over to her and hugged her.
And she locked her skinny arms around my neck.
“No one thinks you’re ugly”
“You do,” she sobbed
“No, I think you’re cute”
“Really?” She said then cried into my neck
“So why didn’t you want me”?
I thought about it for a while before I answered
“I didn’t say I didn’t want you Maisie,” I said
“Just not like that, now dry your eyes and I’ll walk you home it’s getting late,” I said giving her my hankie
“You don’t have too”
“I know but I’m going to anyway”
“Does your mum work?” I asked as we walked through the village
“No” she replied, “She’s not well enough”
“What about you”?
“No one’ll give me a job” she said and laughed
“No don’t tell me because you’re ugly and worthless”
“Do you want a job?”
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t care what I do, anything” she said earnestly
“So if I could get you some work, would you be interested”
We were at the end of her road now
“Ok, I’ll see what I can do”
“And you promise you won’t let me down?”
“No way” she said
“Shake on it then” I said and held out my hand
She shook my hand and looked me squarely in my eye
Then she went skipping off down the street.
“Was that Maisie Stewart?” A voice said from behind me
I turned around to see it was Judith Hunt, my next-door neighbour.
“Yes” I said
And then to answer the unasked question I said
“I caught her trying to steal from my garage”
“I see” she said, “Did you call the police?”
“I’m glad” she said, Judith was one of the angels
“Is it true her mother is ill?” I asked her
“Yes she’s a chronic alcoholic” Judith replied sadly
“I’m glad you’ve decided to try and help her”
“I didn’t say I had”
“You don’t have to you’re that kind of man”
“I just have one question,” she said looking at me earnestly
“Because someone has convinced her she’s ugly and worthless”
Judith reached up and kissed my cheek
“Good night Simon”
As it was getting late I decided to walk back along the wooded path that meandered though the woods that bordered the 18th fairway.
With my eyes now accustomed to the dark I was making steady progress and was within a couple of houses from home when I was knocked off my feet by a figure in the dark.
Excellent I thought to myself first a burglar and now a mugger.
I finished up prostate on the ground and my assailant ended up laying on top of me, using my trusty torch I shone it in there face and was surprised to see it was Victoria Braithwaite but not as surprised as I was when she kissed me full on the mouth and inserted her tongue quite expertly and in that instant of insertion I was able to determine the taste of alcohol and a certain degree of skill in her tongues application so I did the only thing I could do and that was kiss her back,
Victoria Braithwaite was a rather plain middle-aged woman just the wrong side of 50, she was quite small and slim choosing to dress in the twin set and tweed style, if style is the correct word, with sensible shoes and tan coloured tights or pop sock on her trouser days.
Often referred to behind her back as the prudish Miss Braithwaite or virginal Victoria, so to find her on top of me and have her initiate a rather pleasing engagement of tongue and I don’t mind saying she was a damn good kisser, was out of the norm.
I certainly wasn’t expecting it and nor was I expecting what happen next, which was for her hand to unzip my fly and pull out my semi through the opening.
I can tell you it didn’t stay semi for long for then she disengaged her mouth from mine and went to work on my cock, and the expert way she set about her task I could tell that mine was not the first member she'd had her lips around.
The prudish Miss Braithwaite gives great head I said to my self
then out loud "oh Miss Braithwaite" as she worked on me, talk about still waters running deep.
It was at this moment that she stopped, startled by a noise in the wood, and quickly stood up and I noticed that as she stood up one of her sensible shoes was missing.
Her absent Brown brogue had obviously come off her foot when we both fell.
Victoria backed into the shadow of an old twisted oak and I joined her there my erection still protruding from my open fly.
As we stood there in close proximity she didn’t say anything but her breathing was quick and shallow.
After a minute or so and satisfied that no one was in the wood
Her lips returned to mine and her hand went to my shaft and tugged on it roughly.
I fumbled inside her twin set and unhooked her bra and moved my hands quickly to her breasts.
She had scrawny little tits like fried eggs but her nipples were as fat as my little finger when aroused, which they quickly were.
Then as her kissing became more urgent and her grip on my rod more taught I began to hoist up her tweed skirt until I could gain access to her underwear.
I yanked down her tights, which gave little resistance over her narrow hips and boney arse and the white silk of her big French knickers quickly followed suit.
Once both tights and drawers were at knee height Victoria accommodated me by extracting her unshod foot from the unwanted items.
I then ran my hand up the outside of her thigh and fondled her arse
It was a nice arse, soft and squeezable but I soon worked my way teasingly to her generous thicket and then slid my fingers in between her juicy lips.
Those comments around the club about her being a dried up old hag were certainly a long way from the truth.
She was still kissing me hard and snorting in great lungs full of air through her nose.
Though still gripping my tool in one hand Miss Braithwaite used her other to undo my trouser button and yank down my Chinos and bare my arse.
I removed my fingers from her honeyed lips and backed her closer to the tree behind her and Victoria’s narrow hips and small buttocks fitted neatly in the crook of the oak.
But she kept her thighs together when I had her in position
"Am I just to be another conquest Simon?” she asked
“Just another notch in your headboard?"
“Yes” I said truthfully “Very probably”
“That will have to do then” she said and opened up for me and I slid into her and when I entered there was no pop of an over ripe cherry.
The way she received my offering, the way she wrapped herself around me pulling me deeper into her, I knew she had received others before me.
So I went at her greedily, her legs wrapped around my hips,
Her arms wrapped around my neck and shoulders, growling out contented moans to my rhythmic penetrations,
As I pumped her harder these turned to guttural groans as her pleasure heightened they grew to howls, the closer to climax the higher the pitch.
Onward and onward frenetically climbing until crescendo and she screamed as I shot.
We stayed in our final position for several minutes, panting loudly, my cock still twitched inside her and I could feel her muscles contracting around my shaft.
She made several long pleasurable languorous sighs.
I kissed her neck and she hugged me tight.
We dressed quickly in the dark although Victoria went home with her knickers and tights in her handbag.
“I hope we can do that again sometime,” I said
“Oh yes, Can we?” Victoria replied
I walked her to her gate and we exchanged a long liquid kiss as we parted.
As I completed my walk home I thought to myself how funny life could be.
Who would have thought that a plain middle-aged Victoria Braithwaite could be such a pleasurable fuck?
It just goes to show that even the prim and proper ones can be an absolute delight once you unlace their corsets.