72 Miles From The Sea

  My wife wanted something nice For her birthday, So I was happy to oblige But come the day she was so upset With the gift box with ...

  While sitting at her husband’s funeral The widow was approached by a man Asking, “Do you mind if I say a word?” “No not at all” she ...

  My wife is incredibly smart, because I rang her on the phone of a buddy And she answered “Hello darling” Amazingly she already knew ...

  My wife gave birth today And after thanking the doc I sheepishly asked him “When can have sex?” He winked and said “I’m off duty...

I just walked into the bedroom, Which was littered with crap And tripped over my wife’s bra I was floored by her booby trap

  My wife told me over breakfast That sex was better on holiday It took me completely by surprise As the postcard only arrived that da...

  I lost my watch at a party once And someone stepped on it While being aggressive to his wife And calling her a bitch I hit him as ...

My wife mistakenly thought I said “I’m giving up drinking for a month” What I meant was “I’m giving up, And I’m drinking for a month” ...

  I have a trick when I’m struggling To get my lovely wife’s attention I just sit down and look comfortable And that always gets her...

  Our therapist berated my wife Which made me feel very smug “Embrace your mistakes” she said So, my wife gave me a big hug

  My wife said “I’m Pregnant” I smiled and replied “Hi pregnant, I’m a Dad” then she was hesitant Then said “No, you’re not Grant”

  “Don’t go in there” my wife screamed “Don’t go in the church you moron” She drunkenly screamed at the TV It was clear she had the we...

  My wife found a spider But told me not to kill it “You can take it out instead”   So, we went out for a drink He was an interestin...

  John and Sharon Daly were moving to Downshire and as they were unfamiliar with the County, they took a week’s holiday to get the lay of th...

  My wife wanted the heating on in september But I didn’t want it on until at least october In our house its known simply as cold war-fa...

  “ I have the best wife in the world ” The long-suffering husband said “She uses the soft end of the broom When she strikes me across...

  Foghorn Leghorn was married To Yoyo, An eccentric Hen, So called because she laid The same egg again and again

  Daphne Duck married Foghorn Leghorn And their child woke them At the quack of dawn

  Sadly, being in isolation with my wife Has been to our relationships detriment And I fear that it will either end In divorce or more...

  Sometimes after the wedding Despite the best intentions There is a Honeymoon period Causing unlucky abstentions