72 Miles From The Sea

A VOYAGE ROUND MY FATHER (9) Dad said “I’m going to Thailand To an island called Phuket” I replied to him "That will be nice, But ...

A VOYAGE ROUND MY FATHER (8) Dad said “I’m going to Thailand" I replied to him "To Bangkok?" He thought for a moment, the...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 395 Saturday's child Works hard for its living, (So clearly not a benefit scrounger) ARE YOU WEARING...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 394 Friday's child Is loving and giving, (Especially on a Friday night when they’re pissed) ARE YOU ...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 393 Thursday's child Has far to go, (Well I hope they’re not travelling on Southern Rail) ARE YOU WE...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 392 Wednesday's child Is full of woe, (And that’s what you get for drinking on a school night) ARE ...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 391 Tuesday's child Is full of grace, (Well it’s not that lump of a boy next door then) ARE YOU WEAR...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 390 Monday's child Is fair of face, (Well obviously if they don’t look haggard on Monday morning it’s...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 389 If all the world was apple pie, Just like it was in my dream Then the oceans would be full Of delicio...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 388 Twinkle, Twinkle, little star I think there’s something wrong Because you have the same tune As that ...

I HAVE GIVEN UP SEX FOR LENT # 2 I have given up sex for Lent Which is to some small extent An empty gesture on my part As I had to as ...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 386 Harlequin ladybird, fly away home Your kind are not welcome here So get your Harlequin spotted arse B...

WE NEEDED A FAMILY HOLIDAY We needed a family holiday But lack of finances can restrict So I had to take them all Up to the Off Peak Di...

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 8 If you value your life avoid places Where entities are known to kill A certain geographical location...

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 7 If you value your life avoid places That might make your nerves jangle A certain geographical locati...

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 6 If you value your life avoid places Famous for a murderous creature Like a certain geographical loca...

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 5 If you value your life avoid places Where demons from hell meet Like a certain geographical location...

I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 16 I went into hospital for minor surgery The staff did not fill me with a sense of security As...

WHEN I WAS YOUNG WE ATE A HEALTHY DIET # 2 When I was young we ate a healthy diet With plenty of fruit and vegetables But we never thoug...

I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 14 I went into hospital for minor surgery The staff did not fill me with a sense of security As...