72 Miles From The Sea

  My mate returned from Southeast Asia He went there for a music festival So I asked, “who did you go and see?” I can’t remember the b...

  I stayed at a brilliant new Hotel It was an absolute gem of a find But it’ the new corduroy pillows That are really making headlines

  It was appropriate for a voyeur, To live in the village of Watcham To where I just returned yesterday From the Northern town of Oldh...

  I knew I had reached Middle age We I went on holiday to Valetta And among summer clothes In my suitcase was a sweater

  The Black Box flight recorder Is not black! We have been misled Why would you call it a “black box” And then make it orange instead

  Due to the pitiful size of my Social circle, a lad’s holiday With me would definitely look More like a romantic getaway

  I always make the effort to go home Though it fills me with dread to be clear Two days of unwelcome parenting advice From relatives ...

  People travel considerable distances To be with those they hold dear Because these are the special people They only see once or twic...

  A musician wanted a holiday by the sea Under blue skies with an ocean breeze And as she was a pianist she knew exactly Where she wan...

  Dad said, “I’m going to Thailand" I replied to him "To Bangkok?" He thought for a moment, then said "Oh no I certainl...

  He said “I was asked by my daughter, If I could go out to East Africa” I retorted “that’s amazing, Kenya?” He replied “No I had to d...

  At a get together with Family My widowed father told me That he had found a new lady “We’re off to Portuguese India” “Oh really” I sa...

  I flew on an infamous budget airline Who charged for every single item Except for the bad service, that was free, Which was very gen...

  My sister is a sophisticate And has travelled far away She’s been to a Taj Mahal That isn’t an Indian takeaway

  I’m from a big Family And my dad said to me “Your brother is going to Italy With his new lady” I said, “Oh really, Genoa?” “No, I ...

  The roads were uneven and bumpy, Potholed and rutted Which is no more than what You come to expect Of a third world country Unfo...

  My luggage got trashed at the airport So I made a claim at the appropriate place But after filling out all the relevant forms I was ...

I won a round the world trip, All-expenses paid But my wife wanted to go Elsewhere I’m afraid  

  A passenger said “Send one bag to Tokyo And the other to Paris, is that clear?” They said at the check in desk “you’re going To Athe...

  Bimbette packed all her gloves Into one suitcase for Santorini When I asked her why she replied “Because its hand luggage only”