72 Miles From The Sea

  If you are a lover of puns Then on shrove Tuesday There is only one conclusion And that that its pun-cake day

  Is it Pancake Day Already? Oh dear It’s really crêped up On me this year

  The origins of Fat Tuesday Are Anglican and Catholic But in our town Fat Tuesday Is an overweight biker chic

  There is a very distinct difference Between Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday The former is an all-night party and You wake up with the lat...

  I have given up sex for Lent Which is to some small extent An empty gesture on my part As to stop I’d first need to start

  Are you wearing any drawers? I would like a look at yours I bet a pound to a penny You’re not wearing any There we have it at last...

I have given up sex for Lent Which should not disconcert As I haven’t done it for six years So another month won’t hurt    

  Granddad always said, an umbrella was like A pancake, but I didn’t know what he meant? I only found out many years later that it was ...

  The tradition of kissing Friday Was called Nippy Hug Day When Leicestershire men Could demand on that day A kiss from any woman ...

  What do you call the day? That comes after Ash Wednesday And before kissing Friday Well, we just call it Thursday

  There is a religious reason Why it is a significant day But cremated pancake on the hob Is the only ash around our way

  Granddad always said, an umbrella was like A pancake, but I didn’t know what he meant? I only found out many years later that it was ...

  I thought I would try tossing a pancake Well that turned out to be a big mistake The first three didn’t leave the pan at all The nex...

  Tossing the pancake How hard could it be? Well quite difficult Which surprised me What an awful mess After the first three I g...

  Tossing a pancake I can do that Just get a fry pan Heat up the fat Mix up the batter As easy as that One on the ceiling One ...

  Mix it, pour it Cook it, toss it And serve it   A little lemon A little jam on Eat it with aplomb

  Light the hob Mix the batter Then pour it in the pan Cook one side And toss it high Then catch it if you can

  I like to try tossing the pancakes But my inadequacy’s its revealing And the results of my failed efforts Look like I’ve Artexed the...

  At the annual pancake race The winner is always smug Trace I’m always at the rear of the chase Limping home in last place Then I m...

  The Pancake Day race was a popular event And was held amidst much happy hoorays Until the runners became too competitive     And beh...