72 Miles From The Sea

  We have two high street stores To shop for an electric blanket I think it’s a terrible idea because It will cause a heated rivalry I...

  Daphne Duck went to the Mall With a long gift list to fulfil And when she finished shopping She put everything on her Bill

  I was in the Apple Store being served when I loudly farted And the sales guy got mad and we almost came to blows More Apple staff and ...

  My wife sent me to buy Oxo cubes Down at the local corner shop But I returned home empty handed Because they were out of stock

  Apparently one in three kids Are conceived in an IKEA bed But thankfully two out of three Wait until they get home instead

  When I checked labels at the supermarket I had to point out the irony to my wife Helen As to why lemon juice had artificial flavouring...

  You know it really gets me down As you wait patiently in the queue Waiting in line at the supermarket And the line of People behind ...

  Lidl in Stevenage has closed its doors And has been raised to the floor To build a new Lidl superstore Which won’t be so Lidl anymor...

  You know it really gets me down As you wait patiently in the queue And some numpty shopper behind Runs his trolley into the back of ...

  Are you wearing steak? A pork chop? Ok my mistake Oh, your eye is very swollen What happened to you then? You went to the shop for...

I went to a posh jeweller to buy a new watch, And I told the geezer I wanted it really top notch So, he said “Analogue” I replied “No, j...

  The internet is a curse and not a blessing When you develop a habit, you can’t stop And max out all of your credit cards Without set...

  I’ve enrolled my Daughter On the perfect class for her Learning basic skills to hone Like shopping on her own

  I went to PC World I saw computers With or without a screen Keyboards and mice But there wasn’t A policeman to be seen

  I went shopping in PC World yesterday You really have to Watch what you say

  I was shopping With my wife And we found ourselves In the alcohol isle But couldn’t decide What we should get So, we asked the...

  There’s an Army surplus store across the street That only sells camouflage gear as far as I can see I don’t know how well the business...

  I went into an electrical shop And could find no one to assist I got angrier and angrier Until finally I couldn’t resist “Can some...

  I’ve just been to the shops They didn’t impress me at all But if you’ve seen one shopping centre You’ve seen a mall

  Bimbette was a model And was not very bright And she went shopping After work one night She bought herself a scarf Which was gar...