72 Miles From The Sea

  My teacher is extremely ancient But I don’t want to be thought a fool    But it is the truth as he told us He taught Shakespeare at ...

  My girlfriend loves horses and All things Shakespearian And she says “To be or not to be A horse rider, that is equestrian”

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Contrary to the rumour did not peg it After they stole the theatre takings They were recognised and had t...

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Contrary to the rumour, live on They are based in Blackpool Where they do summer season  

  Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Contrary to the rumour, are not dead They are in the Australian jungle Doing “I’m a Celebrity” instead

  Rosencrantz and Guildenstern I can confirm are deceased no more Though close enough, as they are Hosting Bake Off on Channel 4

  Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Contrary to the rumour of their demise Are working as the Chuckle Brothers In their most cunning disgui...

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Contrary to the rumour, are not dead But are doing an Elizabethan tribute act At the Edinburgh Fringe ins...

  My father in law flatly refused to Watch Henry the IV part two He said “I’m not like other people I can’t watch another sequel”

  A man appearing as Hamlet Was booed while performing it “Don’t blame me” he snapped “I didn’t write this bloody shit”

  William Shakespeare wasn’t allowed To drink in his local hostelry And the reason for that was because He had been Bard obviously

  The greatest Shakespearian villain, Who would make a demon scowl, Was Macbeth the chicken-killer, Because he did murder most foul

  My son jokes about my age His humour is very severe He says that when I was at school I sat next to Shakespeare

  My brother-in-law is from Stratford He went to Shakespeare's school No of course he didn’t know him He was in the year above you fo...

  Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Contrary to the rumour did not snuff it They’re living in a bedsit in Merseyside Where they have to rou...

  Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Contrary to the rumour are not deceased But are locked away in Broadmoor And will never be released

  Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Contrary to the rumour of their demise Are presenting shows as Ant and Dec In their most cunning disgui...

  Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Contrary to the rumour, are not dead But are doing a Piano cabaret act On a cruise ship instead

  The local Am-Dram group Is presenting Hamlet presently And sadly, I have been invited To attend this particular tragedy

  Blow, blow thou inner wind - Thou art so unkind As man's flatulence Thy toot is not so keen, Because thou art not seen, Although...