72 Miles From The Sea

  Since I retired, I have resisted the temptation To tidy the cellar, the garage, or the attic Because the moment I accomplished the tas...

What do pensioners? Consider long lunches to be?  Perfectly normal I think At least as far as I can see

  You know when you are clapped out And not vital any more When the doc tells you To slow down instead of the law

  An old man was at the doctors “I have a question you may think silly Well after my wife and I have sex, I'm usually cold and chi...

  An unsuspecting pensioner Was approached by a professional begger "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days." "Force your...

  In the nineties we all loved to dance along to Billy Ray Cyrus and his “Achy Breaky Heart” Now I’m approaching my seventies I've g...

I may have gold teeth Showing when I grin I may have silver hair Which is going thin I will even confess That I have bronze skin ...

  They all seem to describe you As classic, genuine, and unique But what they actually mean is You’re an original vintage antique

  At my advanced age I've seen it all I've heard it all And I’ve done it all The only problem is I can remember bugger all...

  When I get up in the morning gloom I head straight for the bathroom Although as I emerge from my coma Straight is perhaps a misnomer...

  He was a serious swimmer And was in the pool constantly But his progress was halted In his lane, by an elderly lady “How long must...

  Are you wearing a ponytail? Don’t you think that look is stale? Even at its most dizzy height That look never looked quite right  ...

  The fading light of the evening Mirrors the slow diminishing Of my own dwindling light As we both head towards the night

  It’s my birthday today and I’m seventy three And I’m fit as a fiddle, nothing wrong with me Although my memory's not like it used ...

  I’m happier now I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to ignore the negative And care less what people think So now it’s easier to be posi...

  I don’t complain about My silver hair and wrinkled face I’ve lived a long life And laughed more than my share I’m content as so ma...

  I am definitely not getting past it I’m sorry I have to contradict But my back trouble is a result Of being Athletic, not arthritic

  As I stood on my drive I saw cracking little lass Bend over on the footpath Showing me her ass   My high blood pressure Went u...

  You know I still feel "Young at heart" But considerably older In every other part

  She was silver haired And her face was lined But she was content And felt blessed To have lived long enough To have grey hair, ...