72 Miles From The Sea

  In 13th century Scotland: A law passed fining men For refusing proposals If they are an eligible man On February 29th

  There is knowledge I need to know And I really need to know it soon Such as how the pipers can tell When their bagpipes are out of t...

  The feast day of Saint Andrew Is Scotland’s National Day When the Scottish people Celebrate Saint Andrew's Day

  Are you wearing a thistle? Scotland’s floral emblem A prickly little symbol Displayed out of patriotism

  Is there anything worn under the kilt? An old lady asked Mr Lauder? “No Madam there is not” he replied “Everything is in perfect wor...

  Are you wearing any? Beneath your tartan gear Because if your kilt flares up There will be a raucous cheer

  Nicola Sturgeon, the Scottish First Minister Says she want’s independence from Westminster But it’s illogical, she’s just flexing her ...

Are you wearing a sporran once again? Well, it’s not that easy to hide But I feel I should point out You wear it on the outside

  The offer that swung the vote On the recent referendum day Was lowering healthy portions From five, to three a day

  There would be more reserves Remaining in the North Sea If the Scots didn’t have Such a deep-frying tendency

On the question of independence This is what I truly believe The people of England, really Don’t care if Scotland leave  

  On the question of Scottish independence They’ve worded it the wrong way Don’t ask the Scots if they want to go Ask the English if w...

  Goodbye Scotland goodbye Good bye Scotland don't cry That little Nationalist train that makes me Quite happy, no words can tell how...

  The Scottish Nationalists Want to go for independence Which is their prerogative I am filled with indifference Go or stay I don’t ...

Are you wearing a kilt? Won’t your extremities wilt? Well, you’re a very hardy guy And a braver man than I You are pant less are you...

  My new girlfriend is from Glasgow And when I met her Father and Mother I found they were incredibly posh,   They served deep fried F...

  On the Mull of Kintyre I stood atop the steep cliffs On a day so crisp and clear And looked out towards the east And it was possib...

  On the Mull of Kintyre I stood atop the steep cliffs On a day so crisp and clear And looked out towards the west Where it was poss...

  On the Mull of Kintyre I stood atop the steep cliffs On a day so crisp and clear And looked out towards the west Where it was poss...

  On the Mull of Kintyre I stood atop the steep cliffs Looking out across the sea To the distant misty shores Of Antrim far away