72 Miles From The Sea

There is a special place In hell for people that play Any Christmas music Before Thanksgiving Day

  It’s Christmas Day in the workhouse Just another grey day to endure Jamie Oliver is cooking the dinner So, no Turkey Twizzlers in st...

  At the North Pole, For those Not begun Schooling yet, Must firstly be enrolled And then taught the Elphabet  

Never ever catch a snowflake In your mouth Until you’re sure all the birds Have flown south  

  James Dean lived life to the full Seldom taking the time to pause But he didn’t believe in Santa So he was a rebel without a Claus

  The difference between Santa Claus And a serial philanderer, as it goes Is in essence a total lack of self-control Because Santa sto...

  It was Christmas Eve in the workhouse And not a hint of the season in sight No stockings hang by the fire side So, it’s just like ev...

  Everyone loves Santa With every happy Ho Ho Ho Even when he walks backwards Going Oh Oh Oh

  In the morning Santa stood by the window to peer And said to Mrs Claus “It looks like rain dear”

  It was Christmas Eve in the kennels And all the canines were all agog They all made merry all night long Finishing by singing Fleas ...

  Rudolph got an F in his exam Which was a mystery But after his paper was remarked He went down in History

  If an Elf is wearing earmuffs Call him anything you choose Safe in the happy knowledge That he can’t possibly hear you

  On Christmas Eve the chimneys stand Waiting for Santa to go down them And he duly obliges each one in turn To visit every house beca...

  This year, Mum was determined, for the first time, To have the happy time the family had lacked So, when she was preparing the bird fo...

  All of Santa’s new electric Reindeer Were all lined up by the charger Waiting patiently in turn to use it As Santa and Rudolf looked...

  Twas the night before Christmas And all thru the pub The air was scented with cinnamon From all the festive grub From spiced Chris...

  I don’t understand marketing at all When opportunities seem myriad Like a sanitary products campaign Specifically, for the Christmas...

  I used my Fire Stick to order a hamper Something much admired by my wife At the festive time of year that pleases On arrival I found...

  Santa has his workshop Up in Lapland But the Sleeping Reindeer Go to napland

  Twas the night before Christmas And all thru the City Peoples were alone for the season Which was such a pity The Church was the o...