72 Miles From The Sea

  Phil Lynott wanted a special pet And searched for it wide and far oh When he found it, he took it home, Now he keeps his Pixie in a-...

  It has been announced today That a dog food manufacturer, Following poor sales, has had To call in the official retriever

  I don’t like to speak ill However, without being rude I have to say you can't trust A dog to watch your food

  I got a rescue dog from Battersea And I called the puppy, Jimbo But he needed obedience classes Where they walked us to and fro   ...

  If I said my dog ran ten miles, And not so his legs were stretched, But to retrieve his favourite stick,   Would you think it too fa...

  “Can you put the cat out?” I heard my angry wife shout “No, it can use the cat flap” I immediately shouted back She then screamed ...

  If your Dog is struck with a fever Consult you medical catalogue And you’ll find mustard is the cure As it’s the best thing for a ho...

  Look at me, the young cat purred Look I am a very clever kitty I am a huntress to be admired I’ve caught a Squirrel as big as me I...

  I discovered my favourite duck was sick Unfortunately, he had a monkey on his back It turned out he used a multitude of drugs But hi...

  I have a number of cats, but one Is a mischievous kitten Who swallowed a ball of wool As a result she had Mittens

  My dog ate all the Scrabble tiles When they were spilt on the mat And for days he kept leaving Little messages around the flat

  I discovered my favourite duck was sick Unfortunately, his behaviour needs to be adjusted All though in truth he just doesn't fit ...

  I used to have a tiny Lizard He was really small and cute I used to call him Tiny, Because he was “my newt”

  I discovered my favourite duck was sick So to provide the knowledge I lack I called for the local vet to attend But when he turned u...

  My Dog swallowed some of my Scrabble tiles annoyingly I’m afraid when nature takes Its course it could spell tragedy

  I discovered my favourite duck was sick So I called for the local vet to attend On arrival the Vet soon reassured me And it was a si...

  My Uncle is a great cat lover And he’s always been a smashing bloke But after he came to visit, my cat Is recovering from a massive ...

The difference between Cats and dogs is easily seen Because Dogs have owners Whereas Cats have helpers

  An important element of The Feline establishment Is the Cat Constabulary Known as Claw enforcement

  An important element of The Canine establishment Is the Dog Constabulary Known as Paw enforcement