72 Miles From The Sea

  I have to say I’m not A “glass half full” Type of person I’m more of a “Where did I put my glass” Kind of person

  I know I’m getting old And there’s nothing I can do When old classmates Come into your view And you’re so wrinkled They don’t re...

  I know I’m getting old In the most fundamental of ways When children ask me What it was like in the olden days

  Should an old person really annoy me I have a particularly callous strategy I just set about taunting and teasing them With dreams o...

  One day old age will arrive And leave you in despair For example when your teeth Are less white than your hair

  Old age has definitely Arrived in your life when, Your enthusiastic efforts To catch the attention Of a friend in the street, Ar...

  Old age has definitely arrived with a rush When you think you’re having a hot flush But sadly, not for the first time, you forget    ...

  It’s true to say as you get older Your youth you possible may regain For someday you will be old enough To start reading fairy tales...

  Old people can safely ignore Organic foods with no regret Simply because they need All the preservatives they can get

  I spend half an hour searching for my glasses beside the bed Only to discover find that they were on the top of my head

  I just had a senior moment When I mentioned to my friend Betty That when I got the chance I needed to phone my friend Betty

  I think I may be past my best Because I popped out to get milk And return home two hours later With a tin of paint and no milk

  I became very frustrated today When repeatedly told to press any key Because on my computer keyboard I can confirm there is no “any”...

  I use the phrase “the one from the tv” To describe actors or celebrities I also use it to describe what I’m looking At the supermark...

  My wife and I had an active sex life And we used to like to experiment But those days are now long gone As SM now means Senior Momen...

  When you are getting on in years Make sure you are kind to your family Because they’ll be choosing Your nursing home eventually

  I was asked by a practising Buddhist If I could remember any past lives I replied I couldn’t confirm yesterday Without consulting th...

  They have just barred me From the local Oddbins For causing checkout queues Trying to remember my pin

  I stop to catch my breath On the stairs and then I frown As I can’t remember whether I was going up or down

  I decided to Vacuum the house But for some reason it wasn’t working I was stumped, it was very frustrating   Then I noticed that it ...