72 Miles From The Sea

I dreamed one night that an Antelope, Loved a Gazelle and planned to elope But at the moment they expected least A jealous Wildebeest cra...

  The philandering Polar Bear Took a fancy to a kangaroo But when she stole his heart He knew he’d met his waterloo

  I love foot pumps I think they are really neat And are particularly good If you have flat feet

  What a silly Ass So Asinine Quite complacent That ass of mine

  I need a bit of a pick me up After a very boozy lunch A “hare of the dog” is the thing After too much Rabbit Punch

  I was asked the other day If I knew of a divine ruler I said no but I did have A rather sweet tape measure

  The morning after the night before When his head is like a helter-skelta The large hung-over northern Elk Has to reach for the Elka-...

  When a Moose goes on holiday He likes nothing better Than eating the local cuisine Especially the Moosesaka

  The Caribou is the soberest beast A wandering woodsman could meat But get them in a group of threes or twos They soon become the Car...

  The merits of ferrets Are the traits he inherits For hunting the rabbit In the place they inhabit

You can take a horse to water But you can’t teach it to suck eggs Do unto others before their death Every dog has a silver lining Ev...

  What's the difference between A weasel and a stoat? They can both be used To make a fine coat So that’s not the answer Well,...

  The spa wrangled planner No, the Tsar bangled tanner The bra strangled Hannah Or the scar dangled manor The car mangled spanner ...

  I leapt up out of bed, And I opened the door In my pyjamas, Wow I’d not noticed it before What a very odd place For there to be ...

  The hand on the knee No, the bland of the tea Or the stand of the tree The gland of the pea Or the band of the free No, the sand...

I see birds in herds Freaks with beaks Tykes on bikes Mancs in tanks Bowsers in trousers Paedo’s in speedos Perverts in skirts ...

  Poltergeist Polterghost Poltergoose Poltergeists Polterghosts Poltergeese

  I see Dogs in clogs Cats in spats Goats in coats Flies in ties Llamas in pyjamas I think I drink Too much caffeine

  Living life in cartoons A happy life in Looney tunes Incomprehensible croons Beneath silvery moons Shooting at pink balloons Wit...

  One use of a goose Is as a guard goose As part of their charm They give the alarm However, guard geese Aren’t easy to cease