72 Miles From The Sea

  Middle age is when Your age will start to show up Around your middle

  I know I am Middle aged without any doubt Because when given a choice when I was out Between two temptations, I have to confess I ...

  Middle age is the time When it takes you all night To do once, what once, You used to do all night

  At my advanced age I’m sometimes Overwhelmed by the urge to get home Get into my elastic waisted trousers And enjoy the comfort of t...

  I knew I had reached Middle age We I went on holiday to Valetta And among summer clothes In my suitcase was a sweater

  It's true that life begins at fifty Of that I don’t think there’s a doubt But it's then that everything else starts To wear ...

  If you stand and look in the full-length mirror And see a beer belly, bald head, varicose veins Strawberry nose, and a complexion like...

  I have a memory foam mattress And I awake fresh at cock crow I just wish it would remember me As I was at least twenty years ago

  MAMIL is an acronym For “Middle Aged Men In Lycra” I have to confess that’s not the word I use for an old peddle cycler

  I have found that at my age The best form of contraception That works for me anyway Is to leave the bedroom light on

  What is the point for a woman of a certain age Wearing a see-through negligee When all the men of her acquaintance aren’t able To se...

  Don’t see growing old as a negative Ageing is like fine wine so It gets better with age, But you’ve got some way to go

  You've reached the big four-0 You're getting old and so It’s time for you to take it slow It may not be what you wished ...

  I would never have known you were thirty You're not at all like a thirty-year-old You are very youthful in many ways But the giv...

50 year old, Needs TLC, well used One previous owner No reasonable offer refused

  You've reached a milestone A really significant age You've joined the over 40's You have turned a new page So happy bi...

Bad news, Her Majesty isn't sending you A telegram this year, but don’t despair There is nothing to be concerned about She's h...

  You’re forty years old Which is when, they say Life begins for you On that most special day But if you drink too much You will c...

The best years of a woman's life Are the ones she feels naughty And it’s those ten special years Between thirty-nine and forty

Don’t be scared of being Forty Meet the milestone with defiance You’re no really forty, but eighteen With twenty-two years of experien...