72 Miles From The Sea

  Women will dress up to go shopping And for doing chores and errands too Whereas Men will dress up for Weddings And funerals, but onl...

  He was hard as nails, And the man terrified me His reputation is the fact, Supported by Testimony, That he once jogged home Afte...

My husband is like a petrol mower Although he is considerably slower They are both difficult to get started Emit foul smells when they...

  SNAGS is an acronym For “Sensitive New Age Guy’s” But don’t all men come with snags? Just like turds come with flies  

  Are you wearing a manly chin? All dimply and square jawed Very good looking indeed But I bet you’re as dumb as a board

  I left the county hospital In some considerable distress They made me put my todger Inside a bloody trouser press

  It was previously said By a very wise man “I don’t know Ask a woman”

  A mannogram is a new test And is the most effective way Of detecting if a man has a heart So, get yours checked out today

  He was such a forgetful man He was like the absent-minded professor Unfortunately, he was so forgetful That he forgot to become a pr...

  The UK swine flu cases Have now reach sixty-two But the shocking news That’s being kept from you Is of the 35 million Confirmed ...

  I have some information to impart Why it is that men snore When they lie on their backs Is the time they do it more It’s a simple ...

  Men are all the same Let’s say that from the start They have different faces But only to tell them apart Like distinguishing marks ...

  Men wake up looking pretty much as they did The night before when they went to bed While women wake up looking an awful fright Because ...

  A man will pay £2 for a £1 item But only when it’s something he needs A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item Because it’s on sale and not...

The great thing about being a man Is you can have the same hairstyle for years And waking in the morning with a moustache Doesn’t make yo...

  First God created Adam Then from Adams rib, created Eve But why did God make man first Why was a woman, not first conceived? Well ...

Little boys will whine More than now or then And they do it because They’re practicing to be men

Only when a man is Handcuffed securely  Chained, restrained Or bound up firmly Can he ever be Considered trustworthy

God gave men larger brains Than cats and doggies So they won't hump women's legs At cocktails parties

  I think it’s misogynistic To use the word misogyny I’m not being pedantic but It should be ms-ogyny