72 Miles From The Sea

  I’ve never been a fan of complementary medicine But when all else failed I decided to try it I was given helium as part of my treatmen...

  The art of modern medicine Consists by varying degrees Of keeping the patient amused While nature cures the disease

I was once a medical student But I didn’t really concentrate I was asked what “benign” meant Alas it’s not after you be eight

I was once a medical student But it was harder than I thought I was asked about terminal illness Which isn’t being ill at an airport

  I was once a medical student But I didn’t really try I was asked what “varicose” meant And said it was nearby

  I was once a medical student But I didn’t really try When asked about the “fibula” I thought it was a small lie

  I was once a medical student And asked to name a major illness Associated with smoking cigarettes I was wrong with premature death ...

  My sons ADHD medicine Is in liquid form And comes in a bottle As would be the norm   But beneath the label Is written “Concent...

  Red and yellow and Pink and Green Purple and orange and blue I take pills akimbo Pills akimbo I take quite a few

Scientists have completed a study And transfusions of Chicken blood Are more beneficial medically   The positive side effects are th...

  I told a joke about alternative medicine And it only raised a smirk That’s the problem with Homeopathic humour It doesn’t really wor...

  When you finish the treatment You feel like number one I would certainly recommend it Acupuncture is a jab well done

  A mannogram is a new test And is the most effective way Of detecting if a man has a heart So, get yours checked out today

  If you should confuse your  Valium With your birth control pills, beware You’ll end up with sixteen kids But I don’t suppose you’ll ...

  It is said to keep you fit and well Laughter is the best medicine Unless of course you are a diabetic Then the best thing is insulin

  My older sister managed To scare her gynaecologist But that’s one of the perks Of being a ventriloquist

  I was happily sat contemplating, When a crab scuttled into view So, I determined the time had come To buy some more special shampoo

  I was told I needed a brain transplant, But I didn’t want anything of that kind But the Doctors kept going on at me So eventually th...

  The art of medicine Would appear to be To distract the patient Sufficiently For Mother Nature To cure the disease

  They used to call us fatty Chunky or sometimes tubby Euphemisms like sumo Alternatively, maybe chubby However Political correctnes...