72 Miles From The Sea

  Do you like bugs bunny? Or maybe Peter Rabbit? Floppsy, moppsy, cottontail? No, oh you like a rampant rabbit

  Today I caught my Girlfriend Having a solo liaison Using a vibrator, in absolute silence I thought “that’s not on”

  If getting sexual gratification From the Beano is your belief Then that would be known To most people as Comic relief

  I was Masturbating up on the roof But unfortunately, I was seen My boss gave me a second chance So effectively wiped the slate clean

  When mum told me that masturbating Caused serious eye defects I made the decision that I would stop But not until I needed specs

  My husband and I were Visiting a vineyard We were on holiday To rekindle our passion Which due to the side effects Of his obesit...

  When Albert Einstein Tugged on his penis It was widely regarded As a stroke of genius

  There is definitely a difference, So please make no mistake, Between a bag of crisps and a condom One of them you salt and shake

  I was arrested in my local paper shop today And taken to the nearest station without delay I had masturbated over a copy of the Beano ...

  It was when I was at the hospital today I had undressed and was sat waiting When the nurse said quite sharply “You really must stop ...

The priapic youth Has a sexual obsession He thinks about sex so much He has a permanent erection Even when it stands at ease He will still h...