72 Miles From The Sea

  My mate returned from Southeast Asia He went there for a music festival So I asked, “who did you go and see?” I can’t remember the b...

  Because of her confident stride Everyone noticed Anne Boleyn And the King set his cap at her As her rivals would only amble in

  We decided to do an evening class And we chose the Carpenters one We havent made anything yet Because “We’ve only just begun”

  He was dismissed from his job Testing mattresses and beds He took it badly, “I won’t take it Lying down” he angrily said

  Last week I bought myself A second hand matic drill Because I couldn't afford To buy a new matic drill

  As we walked through the Town We heard “Hello” from everyone we’d meet Which I thought was very strange at the time Then I realised ...

  We have two high street stores To shop for an electric blanket I think it’s a terrible idea because It will cause a heated rivalry I...

  My wife wanted something nice For her birthday, So I was happy to oblige But come the day she was so upset With the gift box with ...

In a music magazine, I read That Pop is dead Then I heard myself say “Are Snap and Crackle ok”

  Today my friend asked me about Anchorage and specifically where I said, “I didn't know, however my wife might know, I'll ask h...

  I like to read crime fiction Or detective solving tomes My latest is a lucky sleuth He’s called Sheerluck Holmes

  My Doctor told me to Take two tablets four times a day That probably explains Why I was arrested at the mall today

  I employed Lesbian Carpenters And they are the best I’ve used I would highly recommend them They were called Tongue and groove

There’s a Lesbian dinosaur It has been Revealed to us Which wore a strap-on It’s named the Pegasaurus

  There’s a Lesbian dinosaur It has been revealed to us By exited Paleontologists who Named it the Lickalotapus

Some people are like clouds In strange kind of way Because when they fuck off It becomes a beautiful day

  I got a job at a Helium factory But I quit after my first day Because I didn’t really like Being spoken to in that way

  I wasn’t very good at my job And when I quit, I was mocked When I quit as an Electrician As they were really shocked

  One said “it’s my Spine” Another “it’s my appendix” And finally, “I’m overdue” But that’s all in a day’s work Working at the Book ...

  It was pitiful to watch my son sat staring at the book While wearing a confused expression So, I said “Just open the damn thing and re...