72 Miles From The Sea

  My wife told me over breakfast That sex was better on holiday It took me completely by surprise As the postcard only arrived that da...

  I knew I had reached Middle age We I went on holiday to Valetta And among summer clothes In my suitcase was a sweater

  We needed a family holiday But lack of finances can restrict So I had to take them all Up to the Off Peak District

  I’ve started planning my holiday Last year I went to the Canary Islands And didn’t see a single canary So, this year I’m going to th...

  I was hanging out by the pool When I was on holiday in Spain But someone kindly let me know So, I tucked it back in again

  “No hairdressers at the resort” The sign said at the resort  My wife is a hairdresser And she was totally distraught

  I have just come back from Trinidad’s Port of Spain It was a once in a lifetime trip I can only say, never again

  Are you wearing a sombrero? Have you been somewhere in the sun? I was told you were in Cahoots I didn’t believe it for a second hon....

  On holiday in the West Country, During a recreational pursuit I discovered that Plymouth Hoe Was not a Devonian Prostitute

We were shopping for holiday clothes And we were very nearly done When my wife reached the swimwear “Should I get a bikini or an all-i...

  I went on holiday to somewhere unpronounceable Who have a novel approach to automation You are not prohibited to own a motor car Unl...

  I’m thinking about taking a holiday But I don’t know where to go However I may end up in Sane How I get there, I don’t know As the...

  British lads abroad On the pull Like what they see With undiscerning eye Out to play Looking for an easy lay On another 18-30 ...

  British girls abroad Fake tanned Everything on display Easy virtue Easy lay Begging for it? Gagging for it? Looking for it? ...

I don’t like swimming in the sea I don’t care what you say it’s not for me It’s not that I’m scared of sharks or eels Or that I don’t ...

  I love the 18-30 hols Making out with the foreign dolls Some of them are just a bit flirty Some of them are just plain dirty Some ...

  I love it at the seaside out of season When the bathers are not there The beaches are no longer sun kissed The sands are empty and b...

  It was a warm summer’s night in 1974 and Marilyn and I were in a tent together when all at once the flaps flew open, that would’ve been th...

  I’m thinking about taking a holiday But I don’t know where to go One possibility is in suspense That makes the adrenalin flow

  I went on holiday to somewhere unpronounceable The people suffered poverty and starvation All the inhabitants had to live in their car...