72 Miles From The Sea

  While sitting at her husband’s funeral The widow was approached by a man Asking, “Do you mind if I say a word?” “No not at all” she ...

I think I’m going to eat a whole bag Of un-popped corn just before I die, That should liven up the cremation And make mourners Laugh...

  After a local man was killed By a falling piano It has been announced A low-key funeral will follow

  Are you wearing a shroud? Well I think you should be Because I think you look like Death warmed up to me

  Grandpa always said that he wanted, And he had the plans formalised, That he would be laid to rest with Nan So on his death we had h...

  Funerals do not have to be a time of sadness And while they should not be a time of gladness They can still be a time of celebration t...

  I am attending Walters Funeral Because I was a friend of his And I think that today we could Definitely say where Wally is

  The Insurance man went To a funeral in Glasgow Simply because he had Never seen a Scottish widow

My job chose me, unlike Ordinary work slaves I became an undertaker As my name is Phil Graves

  The graveside service was over, When there was a clap of thunder, Followed by a bolt of lightning, Then a louder clap of thunder T...

  Forward thinking Funeral directors Strike when opportunity knocks The one in our town won an award For thinking outside the box

He was a rogue when he lived And won’t be missed a bit When you lay him in a box Don’t buy the expensive kit Or he’ll return from be...

  I went to a funeral today What a totally depressing day In was a humanist service Cold and utterly soulless With some mumbling buf...

  Grandpa always said that he wanted, And he had the plans formalised, That he would be laid to rest with Nan So on his death we had h...

  Funerals do not have to be a time of sadness And while they should not be a time of gladness They can still be a time of celebration t...

  I am attending Walters Funeral Because I was a friend of his And I think that today we could Definitely say where Wally is

Funerals have had an unduly erotic effect upon me since the morning of my grandfather’s funeral in 1963 when I was 13 years old. I was in ...

My job chose me, unlike Ordinary work slaves I became an undertaker As my name is Phil Graves

  I am attending Walters Funeral Because I was a friend of his And I think that today we could Definitely say where Wally is

  Funerals do not have to be a time of sadness And while they should not be a time of gladness They can still be a time of celebration t...