72 Miles From The Sea

  Are you wearing the boss’s hat? I laugh when you call me that And based on what I spend on kebabs Either on my own or with the lads ...

  As a Nation, the French Like to eat Snails But as a fast food option The traditional dish fails

Money can't buy you happiness Isn’t that supposed to be the deal? Well, I beg to differ, because I bought myself a Happy Meal

  Fast food Drive through’s I’m afraid, are a step too far And I find them quite expensive By the time you’ve hired a car

  If you eat a burger And it gives you the trots You will probably find It was horsemeat like as not

  Playing "La Cucaracha" I hear the chimes call Come get our hot food Come one and come all It’s the cockroach song Is n...

  We have a new market in town And they do Korean street food One customer ordered poodle noodles Which I thought was quite rude

  We went out to pick up A Chinese takeaway But we were skint, so we did A Chinese Runaway

I ordered a burger and fries Even though I know it’s all full of fat but the girl behind the counter Said “would you like fries with tha...

When I was just a young man Wimpy houses were prevailing And a Big Mac was something We wore when it was raining

  I’m not sure if indeed it’s me Or maybe its intentional irony But you can hear the approach Of the daily “Roach Coach” The chime b...

  Give a man a fish And you’ll feed him for a day Teach him to use the Net And he’ll order a takeaway

  Why did the hapless Wile E. Coyote In pursuit of his nemesis, Roadrunner Spend a fortune on ACME products Every all singing, all dan...

  I had a ploughman's lunch The other day. He wasn't very happy Is all I can say.

  When the headless chicken crossed the road There was no wing under which to tuck it Because sadly the chicken crossed the road In a ...

  In these trying times Innovation is required To make the most Of any opportunities   Like a pop-up restaurant Which sells toast

  The kids have a happy meal When we go to McDonalds Why don’t they extend the range? To meet demands at Ronald’s As we’re not alway...

  If a fraction of the effort that went into Research of women’s breasts and their bras Had instead gone into exploration Of space, th...

My blonde girlfriends Are really silly They think Taco Bell Is the Mexican Phone Company

The first sign of childhood ending That you can remember so far When you are too tall to be allowed On the slide at the burger bar