72 Miles From The Sea

  Are you wearing a boiler suit? Well it’s not the most flattering wear But it does have a certain fascination as I’m fascinated to kn...

  Are you wearing chiffon? So you’ve chosen style over substance But you won’t hear me complain As transparency tends to enhance

  Are you wearing skinny jeans? They are a very skinny pair But on those lovely slender legs What else would you wear?

Are you wearing denim jeans? Popular they have always been But on the older man they’re not As fashionable as they might seem  

  Are you wearing denim shorts? They are cheeky by all reports The Denim certainly comes up short You must get some bawdy retorts

  Are you wearing a tux? Urgh that thing really sucks It’s starting to disconcert It’s a Tux printed on a t-shirt

  Are you wearing a tank top? Someone should’ve yelled stop I know charity shops are thrifty     But it’sas dated in nineteen fifty

  Are you wearing a sweater vest? Are you doing some kind of test? Checking how observant people are And see who notices this faux pas...

Are you wearing a shell suit? Well don’t you just look cute But I know where you are heading And it’s not suitable for a wedding

  Are you wearing a denim skirt? Whether it’s in fashion or not If you don’t mind me being bold You manage to make it look hot

  Are you wearing a denim shirt? Well if I may be so bold Whether it’s in fashion or not You manage to make it look old

  Are you wearing a cocktail dress? And drinking cocktails at the same time You do know that wearing one without Drinking the other is...

  Are you wearing spanx again? But they cause you so much pain When they’re on you look smart But they restrict your ability to fart

  Are you wearing a moob tube? Well, I can’t think what else it could be Why would you be wearing a life belt? When we’re seventy mile...

  Are you wearing a boob tube? It’s not to my own personal taste Mainly because I suppose You’re wearing it around your waist

  Are you wearing pointy shoes?   Is that because they are on trend? Well I’m sorry but I have to ask “Do your toes go right to the end?”

  There was a well-dressed person on a unicycle And a poorly dressed person on a bicycle A more contrasting pair you could not desire ...

  Are you wearing it for fun? Well that a very funny one But what’s even funnier Is that your flies are undone

Are you wearing Oxford Bags? Well, the obvious question that begs If they are no longer in fashion Is it because you have baggy legs  

  Let’s be honest we all have A skeleton in the cupboard, or two But some people let theirs Walk the catwalk for the public to view