72 Miles From The Sea

There were no eggs At all today at Lidl’s As all the hens now Identify as cockerels

  The old chicken stopped laying eggs And when investigating the cause The local vet soon discovered that she Was going through the ...

  I was tied up in the dairy By a milkmaid Just the other day Which was where She inflicted on me Fifty shades of Whey

  The bride to be was at the Poultry farm Watching the birds scratching and pecking And she was absolutely raging, because It wasn’t...

  Lily died as she wouldn’t give up wheat Which was the death of her But she didn’t have an allergy She was killed by a Combine harves...

  The reason why cows have hooves Instead of feet, everyone knows, Because they are cloven footed For the simple reason they lactose

  Why did the Cow cross the road? Well, she risked her health and hide For a blatantly obvious reason As she wanted to get to the udde...

  My sister would only work on one animal So all the local farmers mocked her And upset her, but I soon cheered her up When I pointed ...

  What do you call a rooster who wakes You up every morning at five o’clock His actual name is Foghorn Leghorn But we like to call h...

  I used to live on a farm and every time I passed the cows in the field I’d rant And shout the most foul abuse at them It’s turned ou...

  A farmer went straight to the bar And ordered a glass of champagne The woman sitting next to him said, That she had already done the sa...

  A lonely farmer decided to see a movie And take his favourite Cockerel too But he knew animals weren’t allowed So he hid him down hi...

  Are you wearing a smock? As you tend to your flock Well inside your frock I would like to run amok

  Poultry farmers who keep Battery chickens are fiends   Because they earn their Immoral living by fowl means

  The most miraculous animal In the farm-yard, I am assured Is the humble pig and that’s because It is killed and then cured

  When actor Foghorn Leghorn Retired to a farm near Leyton Named his favourite he “Macduff” Because he wanted her to lay on

  I picked up a tray of Lamb chops Labelled “Reared in Wales” in the shop I refused to buy them on the basis That I thought that was a...

Our neighbours are organic dairy farmers With special diets and all that ilk N’owt good ever came of pampering cows And all you’ll eve...

They give Nobel Prize’s for anything now And the latest recipient has been revealed The winner is a scarecrow of all things Mind you he i...

  Foghorn Leghorn’s wife only laid Her eggs in the winter or fall But that made sense, as she was No Spring Chicken after all