72 Miles From The Sea

  Are you wearing bubble wrap? Well that is a novel form of dress But if I were to start popping the bubbles Would that cause you any ...

Are you wearing a sailor suit? Are you trying to look cute? Or are you trying to win a bet Either way you just look wet

  Are you wearing a dunce’s cap? Of course that’s not inappropriate I’m sorry to act surprised it’s my fault. For a second I forgot yo...

  They wanted to spice up the sex To get back on the same page So she dressed as a mummy As she thought he was into bandage

  Are you wearing a disguise? I think that’s probably wise For to risk discovery is rash For special agent Dick Splash

  Are you wearing it for a laugh? It’s overly sweet in fact it’s cloying I know it’s supposed to be funny But to me it’s just annoying

  My wife was invited to go On a girls' night out recently The invite said “dress to kill” So, she went as Myra Hindley

  My friend told me he was going To a fancy dress party Dressed as an Italian island I told him not to be Sicily

  A stressed-out mother and her child Went into the fancy dress shop Rushing around from pillar to post Without a moments pause or sto...

  At a fancy dress party, my mate Went dressed as a car number plate What a guy he’s an absolute “Ledge” And to top it all his name is ...

  Are you wearing Roman robes? They’re very loose and flowing And they fit where they touch Without any detail showing Which keeps a...

  Are you wearing a toga? I don’t want to be an ogre But you’ll be a hit alright At the house party tonight As everyone will be know...

Are you wearing a horse’s head? Are you supposed to be PUCK? Oh, you’re running the marathon Well, aren’t you the silly fool  

Are you wearing a kilt? Won’t your extremities wilt? Well, you’re a very hardy guy And a braver man than I You are pant less are you...

  Are you wearing a sash? I think you’ll make a splash And normally you’d be a smash But isn’t that just a bit rash I mean for this ...

  I think a velvet suit Especially one red hued And I must choose my words So not to appear rude But it’s not the most slimming Fo...

  Are you wearing Lincoln green? Do you really think you should? Because this isn’t merry England And you aren’t Robin Hood

  I was at a fancy-dress party And looking for something tarty I was beginning to lose hope When I got an unexpected grope And I was...

I went to a party And I really dressed to kill The SAS combat fatigues Seemed to fit the bill

  I went to a party And I really dressed to kill A werewolf and a full moon Seemed to fit the bill