72 Miles From The Sea

  Let’s haul out the holly And I’ll make you blush If you would just let me Trim your Christmas bush

  When you’re on the pull If you want to break the ice Say something funny Or say something nice Be complimentary Or just lie in y...

  The latest gossip is in from the North Pole And the Claus’s have divorced you know So why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus? Because he f...

  Scrooge hates Christmas But loves all of the reindeer And the simple reason for that is To him every buck is dear

  You can liken women’s breasts to a Birthday gift of a train set, for lads They were originally meant for kids But who gets to play w...

  Are you wearing a bunch of mistletoe? Well, you certainly mean business Isn’t that overkill? “Less is more” after all But you know w...

  When you’re on the pull If you want to break the ice Say something funny Or say something nice Be complimentary Or just lie in y...

  Do you know what Santa brings naughty Boys and girls so they are not excluded? It’s not coal anymore so don’t think that Its batteri...

  The difference between Santa Claus And a serial philanderer as it goes Is in essence a total lack of self-control Because Santa stop...

  Are you wearing an elf outfit? Does it come with all the kit? Pixie boots and a floppy hat The green tights and all that If you co...

  A chickpea and a lentil, what is The difference between that brace? It’s simple really because no one Ever paid to have a lentil on ...

  Are you wearing a green Christmas outfit? You look very beautiful in it In fact, you look very cute In your Santa’s little helper su...

  I am wearing a contented expression? And all that is necessarily attached I’m a man and at the end of the day And if it itches, it w...

  There may well be, as they say “Plenty of fish in the sea” But until I catch myself a cod I'm left holding my rod

  Once I found out that masturbating Was an addictive habit I knew from that very moment on That I just had to beat it

I love the human body though some Bits more than others I must confess And I thank God for nipples, as without Them breasts would be p...

  Are you wearing a Santa outfit? Does it come with all the kit? The boots and beard and hat And padding to make you look fat I didn...

  I really enjoyed our date I’m so glad that you rang It was a brilliant Guy Fawkes Night that ended with a bang

  My Bonfire night cracker Always good for a thrill My favourite little sparkler I like to call “Catherine will”

  Bangers and sparklers Weren’t the fireworks At the Bonfire night party But the girls I invited