72 Miles From The Sea

  I was asked at my interview To explain a 4-year gap In my resume without a job So, I replied “I went to Yale” “Excellent you’re hi...

  The music teacher was found guilty And put on the sex offenders register He was giving guitar lessons and Was arrested for fingering...

  I took a “year out” before going to Uni And I got a job before you start to sneer I got a job on the London Underground And I call i...

  Higher education is a wonderful thing But achieving it is not without expense And the downside to higher education Has been the demi...

  I upset my English teacher So, I tried to comfort her And said There, Their, They’re

The primary school teacher asked Name something, we have today Ellie That we didn’t have ten years ago Ellie replied immediately, “Me”...

  We learned about food groups today at school Confections, vegetables, meat, and protein Dairy, fruits, grains, pulses, and legumes B...

  I’ve been doing a self-help course But it hasn’t helped a bit I’ve attended all the classes And read the literature, which is shit ...

  My cross-eyed teacher was sacked The governors have no scruples They said it wasn’t her disability But that she couldn't control...

  If the mountains of the world Were to be put to the test The most intelligent one Would be mount cleverest

  If you want to score at school Then the person to see To fulfil all your needs Is the supply teacher obviously

  “It’s your own time you’re wasting” But no one listens to the teacher So, when option time came around I went and signed up for medi...

  In the corridors at my school We were allowed to run There was a simple explanation, We didn’t have a gymnasium

  Something happened at school today Which has shaken us up a bit We had an issue with the register As two of our teachers were on it

  My prospective father in law Finally fell in love with me At the precise moment He found out I had a BSC    Why he was so excite...

  When I used to be sent to the headmaster’s office I knew that the punishment would never be as bad As having the ignominy of going and...

  The American’s must Suffer from innumeracy As they only have one math As far as I can see

  I messed about a lot at school And always played the fool So I was expelled from school And spent my time playing pool And turned ...

  Sitting the final exam Was quite frankly, fruitless Trying to write with A broken pencil is pointless

  Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking If you have something to say, raise your hand And then place it over your mouth Yes, well done t...