72 Miles From The Sea

My wife mistakenly thought I said “I’m giving up drinking for a month” What I meant was “I’m giving up, And I’m drinking for a month” ...

When the police pulled me over The reason wasn’t exactly clear It could have been the speeding That caused the police to appear Or r...

  He was driving home, Shit faced drunk Pissed as a cricket Drunk as a skunk   Suddenly he swerved To avoid a tree, Then anoth...

  After a night out at the pub I drunk until I could drink no more And in a disorderly way I made my way out of the door But being t...

He leaves her house Saying goodnight at the door And heads homeward Like so many times before   She has another drink? Or snorts...

  I was driving in my car At a constant speed On my left was a valley Which looked very deep indeed On my right was a fire engine ...

  When the police caught me speeding My eyes were strained and blinking I was pulled over by a putz   Who said “Your eyes look red, ...

  You were stopped late one Saturday night Because of a defective breaking light Through the window “good morning ocifer” To the con...

  I’m in my sixties now and I started drinking when I was 15, which was in the early 1970’s. I always looked older than my age, though not...

I’m in my sixties now and I started drinking when I was 15, which was in the early 1970’s. I always looked older than my age, though not o...

I’m in my fifties now and I started drinking when I was 15, which was in the early 1970’s. I always looked older than my age, though not ol...

He leaves her house Saying goodnight at the door And heads homeward Like so many times before She has another drink? Or snorts another line?...