72 Miles From The Sea

  It has been announced today That a dog food manufacturer, Following poor sales, has had To call in the official retriever

  I don’t like to speak ill However, without being rude I have to say you can't trust A dog to watch your food

  I got a rescue dog from Battersea And I called the puppy, Jimbo But he needed obedience classes Where they walked us to and fro   ...

  If I said my dog ran ten miles, And not so his legs were stretched, But to retrieve his favourite stick,   Would you think it too fa...

  If your Dog is struck with a fever Consult you medical catalogue And you’ll find mustard is the cure As it’s the best thing for a ho...

  My dog ate all the Scrabble tiles When they were spilt on the mat And for days he kept leaving Little messages around the flat

  My Dog swallowed some of my Scrabble tiles annoyingly I’m afraid when nature takes Its course it could spell tragedy

The difference between Cats and dogs is easily seen Because Dogs have owners Whereas Cats have helpers

  An important element of The Canine establishment Is the Dog Constabulary Known as Paw enforcement

  We will go to Switzerland With our Dog from Alsace When the time comes, and Go to the clinic, Dognitas

  Are you wearing a brandy barrel? Yes, I know it’s like the rescue dog But you know that the St Bernard Doesn’t drink all of the grog

  My dog bit me on the nuts When I accidentally kicked her My wife said it was karma But I thought she was crosser

  The vet said “Your Pekinese will keep vomiting, But it’s your choice To continue to keep talking to the creature In that stupid gooe...

  Apparently owning a dog Can take ten years off you I now have four of them But I still look sixty-two

  My dog must be musical What rubbish I hear you groan But he must be I tell you As I saw him eating a trombone

  Days down by the sea   Far away from amusement arcades Away from the pier And noisy shopping parades Just wide empty beaches The...

  Conscious of the danger to an animal Being left inside a parked car A woman opened the car window So, her puppy could get some air ...

  A man and his dog walk into the pub Each night to drink with the locals As the man has a drink, the mans dog Lies down and exposes h...

  A man and his dog walk into the pub Each night to drink with the locals As the man has a drink, the mans dog Lies down and then lick...

  An important element of The Canine establishment Is the Dog Constabulary Known as Paw enforcement