72 Miles From The Sea

  My seatbelt wouldn’t fasten I thought I had been tricked But couldn’t work out just how To do it up and then it clicked

  A man bought an expensive German car Primarily to impress his friends Unfortunately, he drove it into a tree And found out how a Mer...

  A journey of a thousand miles Begins with a single step apparently Well that’s the philosophical view It begins with a broken fan be...

  My wife made me go car hunting with her As we have a family she wanted a People Carrier And the trip went okay until I upset her Whe...

  The roads were uneven and bumpy, Potholed and rutted Which is no more than what You come to expect Of a third world country Unfo...

I went to a lecture on tyre technology But during the lecture from hell The lecturer told a joke about a puncture Which I thought went...

  Bimbette got locked out of her car In the pouring rain She had forgotten her keys So went back in the house again When she got in ...

  Have you ever wondered why? A chicken coop has two doors? Because it would obviously be A chicken Sedan if it had four

  The children like to sing In the family broom, broom Anything and everything The kids call them cartoons

Some youngsters are breaking into cars, They are proper little devils, They do it in multi-story car parks And that’s wrong on so many...

  “Don’t pick up hitchhikers” I was told “don’t do it ever” Unless of course it was you Who actually ran them over

  My dad bought a new red Mini He had it parked up at home With a go faster stripe down the side And brightly polished chrome   It...

  My Satnav is a very helpful device But you don’t need to take its advice Sometimes you have to give it a rest Because it doesn’t alw...

  I bought myself a Satnav I got in the car, turned it on And I put it on my dash   And it told me where I was Like I didn’t know ...

  My Satnav has audible alarms They make each journey fraught So, I think I’ll trade it in And buy the silent sort

  I followed a car with a bumper sticker “Vets drive like an animal” Was the gist Then I was almost run off the road By what must have...

  Me and a Red Ferrari Are not best suited are we? For I can get in easily But can’t get out with dignity

  Sometimes you can talk Your way out of a ticket A little bit of charm Is probably the safest bet Humour can work as well But don...

  Sometimes you can talk Your way out of a ticket A little bit of charm Is probably the safest bet Humour can work as well But jus...

  Sometimes you can talk Your way out of a ticket A little bit of charm Is probably the safest bet Humour can work as well But avo...