72 Miles From The Sea

  There is a difference between A skinny blonde schmuck And a counterfeit US dollar Is that one is a phony buck

  Down on the beach, the boys Were Catching Crabs In other words they were shagging Bimbette and Babs

    Bimbette, an unmarried mother Went to claim benefit And in front of a case manager She was asked to sit He asked her “How many ch...

Bimbette said “Tell me Peachy, do These jeans make my bum look big?” “Truthfully?” Peaches replied  “Your bum makes the jeans look big...

  I was asked who I wanted To celebrate my birthday My answer was as easy as ABC “Anyone but Chardonnay”

  Are you wearing a diadem? Why are you some kind of princess? No, you actually have to be royalty Not just daddy’s little princess

  I made my girl Bimbette Really laugh on Saturday The only problem is I told Her the joke on Wednesday

  Bimbette says she can count to seventy But I think that’s very doubtful Because in my experience she always Finds sixty-nine a bit o...

  There was a four-hour power cut While she was in the department store And Bimbette then spent all four hours Trapped halfway up the ...

  Bimbette got locked out of her car In the pouring rain She had forgotten her keys So went back in the house again When she got in ...

  Every weekend in Essex-land Daddies’ precious little petal Gets off her tits and tanked up On gallons of Princess Petrol

Bimbette called the Airport and asked “How long will it take to fly from London To Athens?” The agent replied, “Just a minute” “Thank you”...

Are you wearing a tiara? Sparkling with jewels no less Oh, sweet little Essex girl Daddies’ little princess  

  “In which direction will the sun rise today?” At first her question was met with silence But he explained it always rose in the east ...

  My girlfriend got sunburnt I asked why she didn’t use lotion She thought she was safe If her convertible was in motion

  During a password audit by the IT crowd, They discovered something quite absurd A young woman by the name of Bimbette Who was using ...

  Bimbette was stopped for speeding When asked to produce her license She launched into a tirade of abuse “This doesn’t make any blood...

  Bimbette lost her dog And she was distraught Peaches, to cheer her up Said I think you ought To advertise in the paper Just give...

  The letterbox rattled As the post came through the door One after another They landed on the floor The top most envelope Was f...

  One day Bimbette was having trouble With her computer, So she decided to try the call center At a time that would suit her   ...