72 Miles From The Sea

  A disillusioned vet wrote a book And it is a real kiss and tell About his life and times, entitled   All creatures grunt and smell

  My Uncle trains animals To be honest he’s a bit of a bore He has one dog that does magic tricks It’s a labracadabrador

  The Buffalo was leaving Because he wanted to be gone But before he took his leave He just had to say Bi-son

  Lucy Llama was happily surprised With a weekend break by her stag So she rewarded him with a kiss And in a fluster said Alpaca bag

I dreamed one night that an Antelope, Loved a Gazelle and planned to elope But at the moment they expected least A jealous Wildebeest cra...

  The philandering Polar Bear Took a fancy to a kangaroo But when she stole his heart He knew he’d met his waterloo

The Koala was in some distress In fact he was in a proper mess As he was told he wasn’t a bear And he didn’t think it was fair As he...

  Why did the Lion cross the road? Well not just to get to the other side The reason he wanted to cross over Was to get to the other p...

Numbers of Tortoises and Terrapins In the wild are falling faster and faster Biologists and Environmentalists Are all predicting a Tur...

  Dolphins suffer from Erectile Dysfunction And their sex life has come a cropper Not much is known about their condition But they’ve ...

  All the Rabbits in the field Backed away from Farmer Kline This strange phenomenon Is known as a receding hareline

  I have a problem with Hedgehogs I know it’s a strange thing to allege I just find it hard to understand Why can’t they just share th...

  My Uncle has written an expose It’s a real kiss and tell About being a vet, it’s called All creatures grunt and smell

  My uncle collects wild animals He’s the strangest bloke I’ve met I offered him a really fat badger He said no “as it didn’t fit in h...

My Grandfather was from Lapland And he was the greatest hunter I bet And when he went to the bleak tundra To catch Arctic Hare, he use...

  I stood stock still and Feared for my nadgers When in the presence Of the honey badgers

  When you hear The chorus, from where The alley cat’s tarry Just remember That every tom Has a dick, Harry

  If you see a man running from a Lion Run like hell, run as fast as you can But you don’t need to out run the Lion You just need to r...

  Tiger, Tiger, burning bright In the forests of the night Poachers perform their rite And leave a bloody sight

  I was told I should buy a cat “Why on earth would I do that?” “They’re good company” they say “And they keep the mice away” Well e...