72 Miles From The Sea

  A 16 year old lad asked the barmaid for a drink “I can’t sell you booze to quench your thirst” She replied “Do you want to get me in t...

  When the wine box is empty I am one of the thorough types I rip open the cardboard To reveal the Pinots tripe’s And squeeze it dry...

  I am a connoisseur Of all types of wine Albeit self taught And have a Radio channel About fortified wines It’s called, Talks Por...

  Alcohol is not the answer That’s my suggestion It does help however To make you forget the question

  I need glasses So, it would appear But the glasses I need Let me be clear Are glasses of wine And glasses of beer

  Forget the Pinot Grigio and its ilk And the endless night time wee’s Would you like anti-diuretic wine? Then the Pinot More should p...

  ON THE ROCKS    Vodka with ice is bad for you Rum with ice is bad for you Whiskey with ice is bad for you Gin with ice is bad fo...

  After a night out at the pub I drunk until I could drink no more And in a disorderly way I made my way out of the door But being t...

Everyone needs a hobby And my dad is no exception He has built up a rather large Empty bottle collection   There is a name for it ...

  I’ve been on every diet known to man Atkins, Lemonade, Cabbage and f-plan And I’ve never lost a thing worthy of mention But I try ev...

  Alcohol was originally invented So ugly people could have sex too Because viewed thru beer goggles Everyone looks beautiful to you ...

  I was out for a walk Just round and about When I saw in a doorway An old down and out Drinking brake fluid From an old tin cup ...

  As a school kid It was cider first Then as a student Wine came second Then as a worker The vodka came third   But it doesn’t...

  Everyone needs a hobby And my dad is no exception He has built up a rather large Empty bottle collection   There is a name for i...

I’m in my sixties now and I started drinking when I was 15, which was in the early 1970’s. I always looked older than my age, though not o...

  Two whales walked into a bar The first one said " Whiieeeeeaooooooo " And the second whale retorted “God you're so pis...

  I went out for a walk, Just round and about When I saw in a doorway An old down and out Drinking brake fluid From an old tin cup...

  If a cheese is tempted to drink Too much, it should not Because if it does succumb It is at risk of Livarot

  The day began in a thick fog, both of the meteorological sort and of the mind, the former being a seasonal feature while the latter was as...

  New health warnings should be On bottles and tins for us to see Warnings clearly on display That the consumption of alcohol may Ca...