ONCE IN AN AGE OF INNOCENCE
Once in an age of innocence
When the maids were chaste
The body was a temple of love
On which great value was placed
Now the age of innocence is dead
Virtue is sacrificed in haste
Bodies are desecrated at will
And displayed without disgrace
THE FEAST DAY OF SAINT BRIGIT
The feast day of Saint Brigit
Is an Irish National Day
When the Irish people
Celebrate Saint Brigit's Day
ONE SECRET TO A HAPPY LIFE # 1
One secret to a happy life
Is this, more or less
Take every opportunity to
Mind your own business.
HE WANDERED THE STREETS
He wandered the streets
Clothed in tattered rags
And shod in scruffy boots
That didn’t keep out the rain
So he turned to crime
To fill his hollow belly
And then Victorian justice
Clothed him in a ball and chain
FRIENDSHIP TIP
Don’t let a little dispute
Injure a great friendship
Swallow your pride
And quickly make up
THE FEAST DAY OF SAINT ANDREW
The feast day of Saint Andrew
Is Scotland’s National Day
When the Scottish people
Celebrate Saint Andrew's Day
ONE SECRET TO A HAPPY LIFE # 2
One secret to a happy life
Is this and nothing more
Once a year, go somewhere
You’ve never been before.
THE PAINTER AND HIS MODEL
The painter and his model
Were smitten from the very start
And every stroke of his brush
Said “I love you with all my art”
NOT EVEN GOD
Their arrogant confidence
Was unshrinkable
In fact they considered it
To be unthinkable
For the RMS Titanic
Not to be unsinkable
THE FEAST DAY OF SAINT DAVID
The feast day of Saint David
Is Wales’s National Day
When the Welsh people
Celebrate Saint David's Day
ONE SECRET TO A HAPPY LIFE # 3
One secret to a happy life
Is simply this in my view
If you make a lot of money,
And good fortune smiles on you
Use it to use help others
That is wealth's true value
AN ARTIST SHOULD BE ADMIRED
An artist should be admired
Treasured and inspired
And encouraged to create
Art to which we can relate
AFTER SIX LONG YEARS OF BATTLE
After six long years of battle,
Triumph came to the side of light
When the scourge of hostility ended
And Victory in Europe Day began
With joyous revelling and dancing
A new life for the country began
Then as Victory night passed,
And daylight broke through,
The peace dawned anew
THE FEAST DAY OF SAINT COLUMBA
The feast day of Saint Columba
Is an Irish National Day
When the Irish people
Celebrate Saint Columba's Day
LIEUTENANT GENERAL SIR LESLIE JAMES MORSHEAD KCB, KBE, CMG, DSO, ED (18 September 1889 – 26 September 1959)
Australian schoolmaster
Of Cornish stock
Turned reluctant soldier to be
A veteran of the Great War,
Galipoli, Messines, Passchendaele,
Villers-Bretonneux, and Amiens.
After the armistice he was
A peace time businessman
Remaining active in part-time Militia.
Until the Second World War,
When he led the Australian and British troops
At the Siege of Tobruk
And at the Second Battle of El Alamein,
Achieving decisive victories
Over Rommel's Afrika Korps
A strict and demanding officer,
His soldiers affectionately nicknamed him
“Ming the Merciless”,
Later simply “Ming”
After Flash Gordon’s nemesis
He was a remarkable leader
When ordered to hold Tobruk
For 8 weeks and held for 7 months
And it is widely regarded to be the point
That Britain won the war
THE FEAST DAY OF SAINT GEORGE
The feast day of Saint George
Is England’s National Day
When the English people
Celebrate Saint George's Day
ONE OF THE KEYS TO THE SONG OF LIFE
One of the keys to the song of life
Is one of the simple things that please
Such as saying “bless you”
When you hear someone sneeze
WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES IN LIFE
We all make mistakes in life
But the first step is to admit it
When you realize you've made one
Take immediate steps to correct it
LIVE A FULL AND SATISFYING LIFE
Live a full and satisfying life
Make your mark and don’t regret it
But measure your success by what
You had to give up in order to get it
Wednesday 2 August 2017
Saturday 11 February 2017
Love and Lust
HEAD TURNER
Every time she turns her head
All heads turn to her and she is viewed
But I am pleased to say she sees only me
And each time my desire is renewed
LOOKING VERY GOOD IN BLACK
I thought of how good she looked in black
When I saw her approaching
And anticipated the removal of the Green dress
At the end of the evening
IN HER WEDDING DRESS
In her wedding dress
His eyes watched as the sun
Danced on the silver thread.
The pattern was pure, unadulterated
Like the precious contents,
But that night his eyes alighted
On the pattern of another dress
One of shimmering silk
Whose pristine flimsiness
Stood momentarily between
Him and his expectant bride
BEAUTEOUS FLOWER
There is a great beauty
And hers was revealed
As it unfurled before me
Like the petals of a flower
Opening to the sun’s rays.
In a moment, embers,
Which had smouldered unseen
Ignited into burning fire
And that fire burned for her
And amidst that passion
Was a flaming desire
To see the petals of her
Own sweet flower
As yet unseen
WALKING HAND IN HAND
Walking hand in hand
Desire burned slow
And then a moonlight kiss
Ignites passions glow
And Nerves tingle
In baited anticipation
But he holds his roaring lust
In silence suppression
Though erotic thoughts
Bring Images of sin
And mouth-watering joys
That would soon begin
ARE YOU WEARING THAT TONIGHT?
Are you wearing that tonight?
I can’t say I’m not disappointed
You don’t normally have a hair out of place
And you are always perfumed and anointed
You haven’t bothered to get glammed up
So tonight you look like a plain Jane
I certainly don’t want to be seen with you
And you only have yourself to blame
You’ve done something out of place
And I really didn’t want to see “the girl below”
Yes I do think that it’s all over between us
But I don’t agree that I’m being shallow
Every time she turns her head
All heads turn to her and she is viewed
But I am pleased to say she sees only me
And each time my desire is renewed
LOOKING VERY GOOD IN BLACK
I thought of how good she looked in black
When I saw her approaching
And anticipated the removal of the Green dress
At the end of the evening
IN HER WEDDING DRESS
In her wedding dress
His eyes watched as the sun
Danced on the silver thread.
The pattern was pure, unadulterated
Like the precious contents,
But that night his eyes alighted
On the pattern of another dress
One of shimmering silk
Whose pristine flimsiness
Stood momentarily between
Him and his expectant bride
BEAUTEOUS FLOWER
There is a great beauty
And hers was revealed
As it unfurled before me
Like the petals of a flower
Opening to the sun’s rays.
In a moment, embers,
Which had smouldered unseen
Ignited into burning fire
And that fire burned for her
And amidst that passion
Was a flaming desire
To see the petals of her
Own sweet flower
As yet unseen
WALKING HAND IN HAND
Walking hand in hand
Desire burned slow
And then a moonlight kiss
Ignites passions glow
And Nerves tingle
In baited anticipation
But he holds his roaring lust
In silence suppression
Though erotic thoughts
Bring Images of sin
And mouth-watering joys
That would soon begin
ARE YOU WEARING THAT TONIGHT?
Are you wearing that tonight?
I can’t say I’m not disappointed
You don’t normally have a hair out of place
And you are always perfumed and anointed
You haven’t bothered to get glammed up
So tonight you look like a plain Jane
I certainly don’t want to be seen with you
And you only have yourself to blame
You’ve done something out of place
And I really didn’t want to see “the girl below”
Yes I do think that it’s all over between us
But I don’t agree that I’m being shallow
A Little Bit Of Humour # 141
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 11
I went into hospital for minor surgery
The staff did not fill me with confidence
As I was coming around I heard someone say
“Did anyone see where I left the instruments?”
ARE YOU WEARING CHIFFON?
Are you wearing chiffon?
So you’ve chosen style over substance
But you won’t hear me complain
As transparency tends to enhance
WE FOUND A BRILLIANT BUILDER
We found a brilliant builder
His workmanship is out of sight
The only snag is he’s Transylvanian
So he can only work at night
WHAT’S A BIDET?
While looking at a hotel website
His granddaughter asked “What’s a Bidet?”
The old soldier smiled wryly and retorted
“It’s a couple of days before D-Day”
DESICCATED SNACK POT
A new desiccated snack pot
Of dried dog and noodles
Are on sale in North Korea
They’re called Not Poodles
NEW BOND VILLAIN
There is a new Bond villain
Although the story is old
His name is Gold sphincter
And he has piles of gold
PAVLOV’S DOG AND SCHRODINGER’S CAT
I wanted a book about Pavlov’s Dog
And Schrodinger’s Cat
And I wanted it quite a lot
So I asked a librarian
And she said it rang a bell,
But she wasn’t sure if it was there or not
AU PAIR
The meaning of the term
Au pair, is a “Social equal”
So you will find your husband
Ran off with the social equal
ARE YOU WEARING A BLACK BODY STOCKING?
Are you wearing a black body stocking?
No I can assure you my tone is not mocking
And though the view may be thought shocking
It will certainly bring admirers flocking
I went into hospital for minor surgery
The staff did not fill me with confidence
As I was coming around I heard someone say
“Did anyone see where I left the instruments?”
ARE YOU WEARING CHIFFON?
Are you wearing chiffon?
So you’ve chosen style over substance
But you won’t hear me complain
As transparency tends to enhance
WE FOUND A BRILLIANT BUILDER
We found a brilliant builder
His workmanship is out of sight
The only snag is he’s Transylvanian
So he can only work at night
WHAT’S A BIDET?
While looking at a hotel website
His granddaughter asked “What’s a Bidet?”
The old soldier smiled wryly and retorted
“It’s a couple of days before D-Day”
DESICCATED SNACK POT
A new desiccated snack pot
Of dried dog and noodles
Are on sale in North Korea
They’re called Not Poodles
NEW BOND VILLAIN
There is a new Bond villain
Although the story is old
His name is Gold sphincter
And he has piles of gold
PAVLOV’S DOG AND SCHRODINGER’S CAT
I wanted a book about Pavlov’s Dog
And Schrodinger’s Cat
And I wanted it quite a lot
So I asked a librarian
And she said it rang a bell,
But she wasn’t sure if it was there or not
AU PAIR
The meaning of the term
Au pair, is a “Social equal”
So you will find your husband
Ran off with the social equal
ARE YOU WEARING A BLACK BODY STOCKING?
Are you wearing a black body stocking?
No I can assure you my tone is not mocking
And though the view may be thought shocking
It will certainly bring admirers flocking
True Nature # 10
IN THE FROST FILLED MEADOW
In the frost filled meadow
I watch the dawn’s first rays
Beginning to melt the frost
In the majesty of winter days
NOCTURNAL
Nocturnal creatures scurry
And bats take flight
As the owl stands sentinel
Over a woodland night
IN THE DEWY AUTUMN MEADOW
In the dewy autumn meadow
I watch the dawn’s first rays
Beginning to evaporate the mist
In the majesty of Autumn days
FLAMES OF THE FOREST
Leaves like tongues of fire
Set the scene ablaze
Kenya’s Flame trees
Burning bright in paradise
In the frost filled meadow
I watch the dawn’s first rays
Beginning to melt the frost
In the majesty of winter days
NOCTURNAL
Nocturnal creatures scurry
And bats take flight
As the owl stands sentinel
Over a woodland night
IN THE DEWY AUTUMN MEADOW
In the dewy autumn meadow
I watch the dawn’s first rays
Beginning to evaporate the mist
In the majesty of Autumn days
FLAMES OF THE FOREST
Leaves like tongues of fire
Set the scene ablaze
Kenya’s Flame trees
Burning bright in paradise
True Nature # 9
THE FIERCE SPRING GALES
The fierce spring gales
Howl all through the night
Whipping up the seas
And turning wave tops white
The poor souls at sea
On the dark spring night
In the teeth of the tempest
Feel it’s savage bite
And pray to their gods
To save them from their plight
As the gale blows through
On the dark spring night
IN THE DEWY SPRING MEADOW
In the dewy spring meadow
I watch the dawn’s first rays
Beginning to evaporate the mist
In the majesty of the spring days
BENEATH THE GREY SKIES
Beneath the grey skies
In the crisp morning air
An over confident fox
Chases after a march Hare
IN A COUNTRY LANE
In a country lane
Where the noise of a highway
Is thought too fanciful
A wagon carries bales of hay
As the farmer heads home
At the end of the day
The fierce spring gales
Howl all through the night
Whipping up the seas
And turning wave tops white
The poor souls at sea
On the dark spring night
In the teeth of the tempest
Feel it’s savage bite
And pray to their gods
To save them from their plight
As the gale blows through
On the dark spring night
IN THE DEWY SPRING MEADOW
In the dewy spring meadow
I watch the dawn’s first rays
Beginning to evaporate the mist
In the majesty of the spring days
BENEATH THE GREY SKIES
Beneath the grey skies
In the crisp morning air
An over confident fox
Chases after a march Hare
IN A COUNTRY LANE
In a country lane
Where the noise of a highway
Is thought too fanciful
A wagon carries bales of hay
As the farmer heads home
At the end of the day
BE MY VALENTINE
BE MY VALENTINE # 1
On Valentines Day
The valentine card said to the stamp
Stick with me and we'll go places!
While the farmer gave his wife
Hogs and kisses!
And the caveman gave his wife
Ughs and kisses!
BE MY VALENTINE # 2
On Valentines Day
The chocolate syrup said to the ice cream
"I'm sweet on you!"
While the pencil said to the paper
"I dot my i's on you!"
And the light bulb asked his girlfriend
Do I mean a whole watt to you?"
BE MY VALENTINE # 3
On Valentines Day
The bat said to his girlfriend
"You're fun to hang around with."
And the paper clip said to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."
BE MY VALENTINE # 4
On Valentines Day
The nearsighted porcupine
Fell in love with a pin cushion!
And the elephant said to his girlfriend
"I love you a ton!"
BE MY VALENTINE # 5
On Valentines Day
One pickle said to the other
"Your love means a great dill"
Even skunks celebrate Valentine's Day
Because they're very scent-imental!
On Valentines Day
The valentine card said to the stamp
Stick with me and we'll go places!
While the farmer gave his wife
Hogs and kisses!
And the caveman gave his wife
Ughs and kisses!
BE MY VALENTINE # 2
On Valentines Day
The chocolate syrup said to the ice cream
"I'm sweet on you!"
While the pencil said to the paper
"I dot my i's on you!"
And the light bulb asked his girlfriend
Do I mean a whole watt to you?"
BE MY VALENTINE # 3
On Valentines Day
The bat said to his girlfriend
"You're fun to hang around with."
And the paper clip said to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."
BE MY VALENTINE # 4
On Valentines Day
The nearsighted porcupine
Fell in love with a pin cushion!
And the elephant said to his girlfriend
"I love you a ton!"
BE MY VALENTINE # 5
On Valentines Day
One pickle said to the other
"Your love means a great dill"
Even skunks celebrate Valentine's Day
Because they're very scent-imental!
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES YET AGAIN
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 17
A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,What makes you arrive so late
It’s no good arriving at 10 o'clock
You’re Headmaster for goodness sake
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 18
There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Growing in the middle of her chest
With the sunlight on her
It looked like a comma
That punctuated her pert little breasts
(Little girl in this case refers to stature and not age, so stop composing a complaint already)
(Not really a nursery rhyme I know
So sorry to the fans of Longfellow)
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 19
A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,
A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,What makes you arrive so late
It’s no good arriving at 10 o'clock
You’re Headmaster for goodness sake
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 18
There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Growing in the middle of her chest
With the sunlight on her
It looked like a comma
That punctuated her pert little breasts
(Little girl in this case refers to stature and not age, so stop composing a complaint already)
(Not really a nursery rhyme I know
So sorry to the fans of Longfellow)
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 19
A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,
What makes you come so soon?
Just think about cricket the next time
Just think about cricket the next time
That we get down to it in my room
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 20
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are?
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 20
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are?
Are you a star twinkling bright?
Or just another bloody satellite
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 21
Tom, Tom the pipers son
Or just another bloody satellite
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 21
Tom, Tom the pipers son
Stole a pig and away he ran,
The pig was ate and it tasted great
And so said everyone on Tom’s estate
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 22
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are?
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 22
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are?
Are you the star I saw before?
Or an earth destroying meteor
Or an earth destroying meteor
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