Tuesday 3 December 2013

The Busby Babes

CALLOUS UNITED – BLANCHFLOWER AND BERRY

Manchester United’s
Callous attitude
So cold and harsh
Towards the survivors
Beggared belief
And was never more
Keenly felt than when,
They could no longer play
Jackie Blanchflower
And fellow survivor Berry
Were forced to vacate
The homes they lived in

THE BUSBY BABES - THE HOLLYWOOD OF BRITISH FOOTBALL

Bright lights
Shining like stars
In the twinkling
Football firmament
Sparkling lights
From gritty towns
In the shadow of the
Dark satanic mills
Shining out from
Industrial heartlands
Like beacons
Bright lights of youth
Illuminating the lives
Of the terraced fans
Young men from the dark
Industrial landscapes
Youth’s bright flames
Snuffed out
In the snows of Munich

THE HERO OF MUNICH

In the wake of tragedy
Harry Gregg arose
And with no thought
Of himself
Pulled survivors
From the burning plane
Assisted latterly
By Bill Foulkes
Though he thought
His action unremarkable
George Best, said of him
“Bravery is one thing
But what Harry did
Was about more than bravery.
It was about goodness”

CALLOUS UNITED - GREGG AND FOULKES

Manchester United’s
Callous attitude
So cold and harsh
Towards the survivors
Beggared belief
And was never more
Keenly felt than when,
Only days after
The Munich Disaster
Gregg and Foulkes,
Though traumatised
And grieving and feeling
The guilt of the survivor
Were forced to play
Afterwards Harry Gregg
And Bill Foulkes
Forced to play too soon
With the guilt of the survivor
Sat in the dressing room
Staring with empty eyes

A MARK OF RESPECT – ARE YOU LISTENING LEEDS UTD

In the aftermath of Munich
All of football felt the loss
In an altogether more
Caring and respectful time
When fans of all teams
Out of respect, wore black
And stadia were universally quiet

IN TRAGEDIES WAKE – MUNICH 1958

At Old Trafford
In tragedies wake
In the eerie quiet
The terraces echoed
The mournful silence
And even the empty
Seats shed tears
For The busby babes

JOHN "JACKIE" BLANCHFLOWER (7 MARCH 1933 – 2 SEPTEMBER 1998)

Nicknamed "Twiggy"
John "Jackie" Blanchflower
Survived the wreckage
Amidst the snows of Munich
Though the crash didn’t end his life
It did bring his footballing career
To an untimely end

GO NOW BILL

WILLIAM ANTHONY "BILL" FOULKES - (5 JANUARY 1932 – 25 NOVEMBER 2013)

Go now Bill
Lay down the captain’s armband
You’ve earned your rest
Our tower of strength
Straight backed
Rugged and dependable
Take your place
Among your equals
And be at peace

Your strong facade
Oft betrayed
By sadness in your eyes
The sadness of survival
So go now Bill
And join the babes
You’ve missed so much
And take your place
Among immortals

JOHN JAMES "JOHNNY" BERRY (1 JUNE 1926 – 16 SEPTEMBER 1994)

The Forgotten Babe
John James "Johnny" Berry
Survived the wreckage
Amidst the snows of Munich
Though the crash didn’t end his life
He never played again

Tales of Love # 11

YOUR EMBRACE IS LIKE A VELVET CLOAK

Your embrace is like a velvet cloak
Enveloping me in love
As you speak to my soul
And burn into my heart a perfect love

YOUR SERPENT HIPS

Your serpent hips
And slender limbs
The glow and lustre
On your skin
In the half light
Of the afterglow
Beyond the bliss
And read the smile
On each other’s lips

SNOWFLAKES FALL STEADILY

Snowflakes fall steadily
As the wind blows
Laying deeper and deeper
As her progress slows
Knee deep she trudged
Through the deep snows
So I go and rescue her
From out of the snows
To get her safe indoors
Out of the snows
Though not for kindness
Heaven only knows
It was to get her out
Of her ho ho hose

SHE’S TICKING ALL THE BOXES

“She’s ticking all the boxes”
I thought to myself
When I first laid eyes on her
But of course she wasn’t perfect
That would have been a claim too far
Then when we spoke, at length
More boxes were checked
But again she fell short of the summit
But then who wants perfection
Which is in reality subjective
I have met girls in my life
Slightly more than ordinary
But thought themselves perfect
And others nearly perfect
And thought themselves ordinary
This girl was as close to it
As I had ever come
Or wanted to come
For if she was to be flawless
That would be unnatural
As well as undesirable
For it’s in the imperfections
Where character lies

LIKE DRIFTWOOD YOU FLOATED INTO MY LIFE

Like driftwood you floated into my life
As I cruised upon a calm blue sea
Your presence stirred the peaceful waters
And turned my outlook squally
But though we blow from storm to storm
I still believe you rescued me

IF YOU WERE AN ISLAND

If you were an island
Set in a clear blue sea
Dressed with palm trees
Stirred by the scented breeze
With sun soaked beaches
Of coral white
I would be the gentle waves
Washing over them

TWO CASTAWAYS

Two castaways
Washed up together
Like flotsam and jetsam
The floating wreckage
Of their failed loves
And from the driftwood
Of their own detritus
And broken remnants
Of previous vessels
They manage to build
A new ship of love

I WAS READY, WITHOUT A DOUBT

I was ready, without a doubt
Ready for the one
I was set on the start line
Heart beating at the run
Then bang!
Went loves starting gun

Christmas 2013 Selection Box # 2

EVERY YEAR WITHOUT FAIL - FROSTY

Every year without fail
On Christmas Eve
It would appear
And we children
Would squeal out
A deafening cheer

When the source
Of our excitement
Was carefully set down
And we would sit
In our clean pajama’s
And dressing gown

And stare at the object
Open mouthed
In gleeful expectation
Of what was beneath
The cotton wool and
Crepe paper creation

We would have to wait
The longest time
In anticipation
But it was worth it
Too see inside the belly
Of Frosty’s incarnation

And when we thought
We could wait no longer
We all jumped to our feet
As Dad slowly removed
The carrot faced head
And revealed the treats
And as Dad gave Frosty
A little shake, out spilled
The Christmas sweets

MY BROTHER WAS FIVE YEARS MY SENIOR

My brother was five years my senior
So he always led me astray
He took me on a hunt every December
Leading up to Christmas day
To find the presents that mum and dad
Had cunningly stashed away

LONG RED SOCKS

Long red socks hanging from the chimney
One sock for you and another sock for me
And this time next year we will hang three

RED SOCKS

Long red socks
And Christmas frocks
A sprig of mistletoe
That’s Christmas ho ho ho

HAND KNITTED GLOVES

Hand knitted gloves
Scarves and hats
Novelty slippers
A book of cricket stats
Soap on a rope
Hankies and socks
These are examples
Of my Christmas box

JOYFULNESS

Joyfulness
On high
Yeshua is born
For all mankind
Unconditional
Love for the world

THE PIPES OF CHRISTMAS PAST

The pipes of Christmas past
Carry with every merry blast
Seasonal joy, when they play
Their tunes of Christmas day

I AM BLESSED WITH FRIENDS AT CHRISTMAS

I am blessed with Friends
Some of them are fruity
Some are soaked in alcohol
Some of them are nutty
Some are sweet
Some add spice
Some add zest
Some smell nice
But when mixed together
And yuletide is upon us
They become without doubt
The fruit cake of Christmas

Christmas 2013 Selection Box # 1

EVERY YEAR WITHOUT FAIL - SANTA

Every year without fail
On Christmas Eve
It would appear
And we children
Would squeal out
A deafening cheer

When the source
Of our excitement
Was carefully set down
And we would sit
In our clean pajama’s
And dressing gown

And stare at the object
Open mouthed
In gleeful expectation
Of what was beneath
The cotton wool and
Red crepe paper creation

We would have to wait
The longest time
In anticipation
But it was worth it
Too see inside the belly
Of Santa’s incarnation

And when we thought
We could wait no longer
We all jumped to our feet
As Dad slowly removed
The pink faced head
And revealed the treats
And as Dad gave Santa
A little shake, out spilled
The Christmas sweets

A SNOWMANS TALE

When I was very little
My dad and his brother
Built a huge snowman
Bigger than any other

He was as tall as Dad
And was round and fat
It had coal for eyes
And a big black hat

A scarf about its neck
For sartorial style
A large carrot nose
And a twig for a smile

Knobbly stick arms
With gloves at the end
A belt around its girth
Like a cummerbund

I loved that snowman
Standing so very tall
Until the eventual thaw
And I watched him fall

CHRISTMAS

Christ the lord
Holy birth in Bethlehem
Regal child in David’s city
Infant of God
Sent from heaven above
To die for us
Messiah in a manger
Angelic miracle
Saviour of man

WALNUTS IN WINTER

Walnuts in winter
Along with filberts, almonds
And fleshy Brazils

YOUNG LOVERS CUDDLE

Young lovers cuddle
Listening to carols sung
While the Yule log burns

THE PIPES OF CHRISTMAS PAST BLOW OUT

The pipes of Christmas past blow out
The melodies of yesteryear
With memories to warm the heart
And bring a sentimental tear

OH SANTA CLAUS THE BELLS THE BELLS ARE CALLING

Oh Santa Claus the bells the bells are calling
From town to town, where goodwill doth abide
The summers gone, the autumn leaves have fallen
We’re near, we’re near another Christmas tide

So come ye back to us on Christmas Evening
when all the land is hushed and white with snow
And we will leave your milk and cookies
Oh Santa Claus, you know we love you so

ARE YOU WEARING RED SHOES?

Are you wearing red shoes?
And very festive they are to
And just the thing for a Christmas do

Christmas Humour Selection Box # 4

I SAW SANTA CLAUS LAST NIGHT

I saw Santa Claus last night
Messing with a ho ho ho
When he was kissing her
Underneath the camel toe

WHEN RUDOLPH ARRIVED

When Rudolph arrived
Cupid was so pleased
It meant the other reindeer
Had someone new to tease

RUBY THE RED NOSED BIMBO

Ruby the red nosed bimbo
Had a very strawberry nose
And if you ever saw her
You would even say it glows

All of the other bimbos
Used to laugh and call her names.
They never let poor Ruby
Join in any bimbo games.

Then one lonely Christmas Eve
Someone came to play:
Ruby with your nose so bright
Let me grab your tits tonight

Then all the fellas loved her
As they shouted out with glee,
Ruby the red-nosed bimbo
You can now go down on me!

CHRISTINGLE MINGLE

It is the season that makes my senses tingle
The time of year when the sleigh bells jingle
And we come together for the Christingle mingle
When the Clauses and the Grinches intermingle
And happy clappy’s and traditionalists comingle
As we celebrate the service of Christingle

HER WASSAIL

She would sing for her supper
And wail for her wassail
To get her turkey dinner
And a pint of Christmas ale

ARE YOU WEARING RED VELVET?

Are you wearing red velvet?
That’s really nice to see
And so fitting for the season
It makes me feel so Christmassy

ARE YOU WEARING GREEN VELVET?

Are you wearing green velvet?
That’s really nice to see
And so fitting for the season
It makes me feel so Christmassy

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLIND REINDEER?

What do you call a blind reindeer?
During the governments austere stance
“Fit for work and no longer eligible
For any disability allowance”

RED SUIT

Santa Claus wears his famous red suit
As down another Chimney he’ll shoot
But no one knows what’s under there
He likes dressing in Ladies underwear

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Because Daddy
Has just worked
A 14 hour day
And now has to drive
300 miles of Christmas traffic
To spend another bloody Christmas
At Grandma Browns
House of doom
So he is not in the mood
For any of your shit

WE ALL PLAYED CHARADES

We all played Charades
At the in laws on Boxing Day
My wife’s Uncle Jack
Really went for it I must say
We were really impressed
By his energetic display
It was ten minutes before we knew
His heart had given way



Christmas Humour Selection Box # 3

WHEN SANTA ISN’T WORKING # 2

When Santa isn’t working
With a happy ho ho ho
He likes to ballroom dance
Going quick quick slow
Then he dances backwards
And he goes oh oh oh

WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 4

Why did the turkey cross the road?
Well contrary to the fable
It was to avoid ending up
On the Christmas table

DO NOT EAT CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS

Do not eat Christmas decorations
They are not nutritious in the slightest
And apart from that very simple fact
You will end up with bad tinsilitis

I ALWAYS COME OUT IN A RASH

I always come out in a rash
It happens every Xmas
I’ve been to see a doctor
And he thinks its Eczemas

I LOVE THE SMELLS OF CHRISTMAS

I love the smells of Christmas
Like Cinnamon and Ginger
Roasted chestnuts piping hot

Gluhwein and Pine needles
So I feel sorry for the snowmen
As they can only smell carrot

A DOG ISN’T JUST FOR CHRISTMAS

A dog isn’t just for Christmas
That’s what they say
And they are correct
Its also nice cold on Boxing Day

TRANSVESTITE CHRISTMAS

Do you think that cross dressers
Find Christmas is merry?
I bet you think they are sad
Well on the contrary
I really love Christmas
As I can eat, drink and be Mary

MY GOOSE WAS COOKED

On Christmas morning
Into the kitchen I snook
And as my wife cooked the Goose
I goosed the cook

RED CHEEKS

Cheeks wear a rosy glow
As they play out in the snow
Making the snowman grow
Until the wind begins to blow
And they look at me and know
It’s time for a mug of cocoa

MERRY, MERRY

The doctor scratches his head
And is almost struck dumb
Why did Santa Claus have
A mince pie stuck up his bum
The only answer was
On a pie he must have sat
So the doctor said
“I’ll give you some cream to put on that”

THEY’RE PUTTING ON ACTIVITIES

They’re putting on activities
For those whose lives need enhancing
Well I’m hard of hearing
And of the activities they are advancing
Budgie jumping, parrot shooting
And hen gliding
Might be worth chancing
But no way am I going to have a go
At the Lion dancing


Christmas Humour Selection Box # 2

CANDY CANES, CINNAMON AND GINGER

Candy Canes,
Cinnamon and Ginger
Are some of my favourite
Christmas things
Especially when
They’re only wearing
Christmas Stockings
And Popcorn Strings

IF YOU PUT CANDY CANES ON THE TREE

If you put Candy canes on the tree
And Popcorn on strings
Then let me give the kind of advice
That experience brings
Don’t pack them away after the
Bell of New Year rings
Otherwise next year they will be
Seriously unsavory things

IN THE CHRISTMAS VILLAGE

In the Christmas village
At the North Pole
There is much excitement
Being kept under control
As there is to be an election
For every Elf and Troll
Votes can of course be cast
At the North Poll

GOOD KING WENCESLAS ORDERED OUT

Good King Wenceslas ordered out
On the feast of Stephen
An eighteen slice with extra cheese
Deep pan, crisp and even

SANTA'S FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG

Santa's favorite Christmas song
That he sings repeatedly
Is Santa Claus is coming to town
Sung by Elfish Presley

PICKUP # 6

When you’re on the pull
If you want to break the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something clever
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your endeavour
“Can I have your picture?”
You ask to establish a premise
“So I can show Santa Claus
What I want for Christmas?”

WHEN SANTA ISN’T WORKING # 1

When Santa isn’t working
With a happy ho ho ho
He likes to tend his garden
With his Hoe Hoe Hoe

WHY DID THE TURKEY CROSS THE ROAD? # 1

Why did the turkey cross the road?
There was a very simple reason
It was due to a lack of options for a Turkey
During the Christmas season

RED VELVET

I think a velvet suit
Especially one red hued
And I must choose my words
So not to appear rude
But it’s not the most slimming
For a rather portly dude

AFTER A LONG FLIGHT ON THE SLEIGH

After a long flight on the sleigh
Listening to Sleigh bells jingle
It wasn’t milk and cookies
That made Santa’s taste buds tingle
It was the thought of Mrs. Claus’s
Freshly made Crisp Cringle

THERE WAS A MEXICAN SHEPHERD

There was a Mexican shepherd
Who once worked for my dad
And every Christmas time
He wished us Fleece Navidad