Out of the snowy lawn
The snowman grew
Wearing a hat and scarf
The way that you do
With pebbles for eyes
Pressed into the snow
A smiley twig mouth
And a large carrot nose
He’s a magnificent site
The snowman that grew
But he’s just snow and ice
And no substitute for you
I wish you were here
To chase the blues away
I wish you’d come back
To me for Christmas day
Monday 24 November 2008
MIRROR, MIRROR
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Am I the loveliest of them all?
Mirror, mirror tell me for sure
To stop me feeling insecure
Mirror, mirror hanging there
You needn’t tell me I look fair
Let me think that I look slim
So I can look good for him
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Tell me that my bum is small
Mirror, mirror looking glass
Tell me that’s not all my arse
Am I the loveliest of them all?
Mirror, mirror tell me for sure
To stop me feeling insecure
Mirror, mirror hanging there
You needn’t tell me I look fair
Let me think that I look slim
So I can look good for him
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Tell me that my bum is small
Mirror, mirror looking glass
Tell me that’s not all my arse
DON’T THROW ME ON THE SCRAP HEAP
Don’t throw me on the scrap heap
Just because I’m old
I still have talent and skills to offer
If I may be so bold
My talent is called multi tasking
Or so I’ve been led to believe
And I can simultaneously wet myself
And laugh, cough, fart and sneeze
Just because I’m old
I still have talent and skills to offer
If I may be so bold
My talent is called multi tasking
Or so I’ve been led to believe
And I can simultaneously wet myself
And laugh, cough, fart and sneeze
WHAT DO YOU WANT BUD?
I saw a Buddhist monk today
At a hot dog stand
The cook stood at the griddle
Doing his thing
“What can I make you” was his
Gruff demand
The monk replied, “ Make me one
With everything”
At a hot dog stand
The cook stood at the griddle
Doing his thing
“What can I make you” was his
Gruff demand
The monk replied, “ Make me one
With everything”
YOU MUFFIN
When young women
Dress with midriff exposed
It can look attractive
To the suitably disposed
But for those more ampler
Flesh spills over the top
Of tight waist bands
To look like muffin tops
Dress with midriff exposed
It can look attractive
To the suitably disposed
But for those more ampler
Flesh spills over the top
Of tight waist bands
To look like muffin tops
PUT DOWN'S
PUT DOWN # 1
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
Just gaze into their eyes
And say to your pursuer
“Why don’t you slip into something
More comfortable… like a coma”
PUT DOWN # 2
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
Just say to him seductively
With your hand upon your hip
“Wipe your mouth honey,
You have bullshit around your lips
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
Just gaze into their eyes
And say to your pursuer
“Why don’t you slip into something
More comfortable… like a coma”
PUT DOWN # 2
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
Just say to him seductively
With your hand upon your hip
“Wipe your mouth honey,
You have bullshit around your lips
GOD IS
God is goodness
God is love
God and love
Go hand in glove
God is blessed
God is hope
God and hope
Will help us cope
God is loving
God is peace
God and peace
Will never cease
God is patient
God is grace
God and grace
Hold us in embrace
God is goodness
God is love
God and loveGo hand in glove
God is love
God and love
Go hand in glove
God is blessed
God is hope
God and hope
Will help us cope
God is loving
God is peace
God and peace
Will never cease
God is patient
God is grace
God and grace
Hold us in embrace
God is goodness
God is love
God and loveGo hand in glove
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