Thursday 22 May 2008

THE DEVIL IN THE SKIES

From the dark cloudless skies
Comes the engines droan
Of that unseen and menacing evil
In grim formation flown
Then comes the sirens song
Telling of impending death
As the city looks skyward
Holding a collective breath
Long beams of light
Searched out the evil flock
Criss-crossing the darkness
In every quarter of the clock
Towards the shelters
The civilian’s ant like scurry
As the guns began desperately
Trying to stop the enemy
Fire and death rains down
Upon the weary populace
In macabre equality
The walks of life feel deaths embrace
As buildings fall to the ground
In rubble and dust
Life and history instantly erased
After the bombs combust
Then come the sirens again
Calling out loud, all clear
And from underground
The jaded survivors reappear
To count the cost
Of the night at the gates of hell
Then thanking God
For keeping them safe and well
Gaps on the ravaged skyline
Missing Churches and hostelries
Fire still burns where once stood
Homes and factories
Hoping against hope
That their home survived the night
But despite all this
They never thought to give up the fight

PEACE IN OUR TIME

When idle thoughts lead me back down Memory lane
I think of Mr Chamberlain stepping from the plane
Desperately clutching that piece of paper he waved
That promise of hope that Europe would be saved

How we all held that precious hope in our hearts
Before the promise of peace finally fell apart
And how that hope evaporated to leave me scared
When Chamberlains voice said war was declared

Hitler’s broken promise broke Neville’s heart
Another world war blew his appeasement apart
Then up steps Winston Churchill into the fray
His boldness and stiff resolve eventually won the day
A broken man, Chamberlains life came to an end
Many years before the war he tried so hard to prevent

CONSTITUTIONAL

Old Joe shuffled his way
Along the promenade one day
He decided it was time to stop
As he passed an ice cream shop
He moved slowly and painfully
And climbed on a stool carefully
After catching his breath a bit
Old Joe ordered a banana split
"Crushed nuts?" asked the waitress
"No," he replied, "just arthritis."

THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER

Was it the organisation?
That was to blame
Or profiteering retailers
Perhaps too greedy
Pubs and clubs to liberal?
Uninterested in consequences
A faulty screen was a factor
In the ensuing conflict
But all of the above played a part
So technology caused the spark
And Alcohol fuelled the flames
What began with scuffle and skirmish
Erupted in a volcano of hate
And then the battle commenced
As the angry and the drunk
Rampaged through the city
The police were mobilised
To quell hostilities
But hopelessly out numbered
The had to withdraw
They fell back to regroup
Pursued by packs
Of blue clad animals
In the mêlée
A lone officer, a tail ender
Already wounded by a bottle
Stumbled and fell before his pursuers
They quickly surrounded him
And kicks rained in on him
But amidst this madness, this carnage
A rangers fan, an army man
Hauled the stricken officer to his feet
And dragged him away from the fight
At first stunned the thugs looked on bemused
Then they charged on
Urged on by the soldier
The officer ran muscles burning
But for the soldier propelling him along
The officer would have fallen
Then sanctuary was in sight
A police van sat invitingly
But they must run on
The soldier yelled encouragement
The officer responded
As they reached the police van
The officer was pushed into the back
And a line of yellow coated police
Swarmed onto the attacking rangers phalanx
And in that instant the soldier was gone
Where did he go, the Good Samaritan
Who was he? This saviour
The ex soldier whose humanity
Surpassed his baser instincts
Will we ever know who he was?
Or where he came from
Should we try to find him?
To heap glory on him
Or should we just thank God for him

May 14th 2008
The events following the UEFA Cup final at the City of Manchester Stadium

WHO PUT THE GER IN ANGER

Waves of Rangers blue
Relentlessly Attack
Wave upon wave
Push their opponents back

But this valiant effort
This Rangers blue tide
That moved with precision
Pushing opponents aside

Did not happen in the stadium
Nor was a ball at their feet
This game took place
On Manchesters city streets

The Waves of Rangers blue
With alcohol fuelled Fight
Brought to bear upon the police
Their vengeance and their spite

But if during the match
Such passion had been on show
Then the uefa cup
Might have gone to Glasgow

May 14th 2008
The events following the UEFA Cup final at the City of Manchester Stadium

GOOD BYE TOMMY

Good bye Tommy
Celtics gentleman
Respected by professionals
Respected by the fans

Good bye Tommy
Celtic servant and friend
A rock and pillar
Until your early end

Good bye Tommy
High in our esteem
The Celtic angels now
Have a new man on the team

Tommy Burns Died May 15th 2008

Friday 9 May 2008

MR & MRS ATM

No need to park your car
Before withdrawing your money
There is now a drive through ATM
For people in a hurry

Mr ATM drives up to the cash machine And before putting his card in
Winds down his window Then types in his PIN
Enters the cash amount required
Retrieves card, receipt and cashWinds up his window Then off he can dash
That’s simple enough I think
They’ve made it as easy as they can
The procedure isn’t hard
Though clearly designed for a man
Unfortunately the machines
Are not exclusively for men
And that is the only problem
With a drive through ATM

Mrs ATM drives up to the cash machine Stops then reverses the car
Then drives forward once more
Because she backed up too far
With the car window now aligned
With that of the ATM
She applies the parking brake
And is ready to begin
She grabs her handbag
And tips out everything
Onto the passenger seat
To find her card holder thing
She tells her best friend
She will call her back later
Then hangs up the phone
And finds her debit card holder
She tries to insert card
Then winds down her window
She tries to insert card
Then leans out through the window
Because of the great distance
Separating the two of them
She opens the car door
So she can reach the ATM
She inserts her card The machine makes a bleeping sound
She re-inserts her card
The right way roundShe rummages in her bag
To find her PIN
And finds her diary
That has the number written in
At last she is ready
And she enters her PIN
Then she press’s cancel
And enters the correct PIN
She enters the cash amount required
Retrieved her cash and receipt
Then checked the state of her hair
When sitting back in her seat
She empties her handbag again
And with her purse located
She places the cash inside
And the debit amount is duly recorded
She checks her makeup in the mirror
Then drives forward about a yard Before reversing back to cash machine Where she retrieves her card She empties her handbag again
And locates the card holder
Then places her card into it And checks her hair in the mirror
She redials her friend on her mobile
And gives the irate male driver
A really dirty look
For impatiently waiting behind her She pulls away from the ATM
Stops and restarts the stalled engine
Then drives for five miles Before finally releasing the hand brake again