Showing posts with label World Cup. Show all posts
Showing posts with label World Cup. Show all posts

Monday 7 March 2022

ALADDIN’S WISH

Aladdin rubbed his lamp

And a Genie did appear

You can have one wish

But only one he made clear

 

“I want to live forever”

Aladdin told the genie.
“I’m sorry” Came the reply

“You can’t wish for immortality”

 

“Living forever

Is against the regulations

You must think again

And revise your expectation”

 

“Do you have your wish?”

Aladdin answered “Yup”

“I want to live to see

England win the World Cup”

Thursday 22 July 2021

BEING AN ENGLAND SUPPORTER

 

Being an England supporter

At a World Cup or Euro’s melee

Is likened to over-optimistic parents

Of the fat kid on sports day

Thursday 4 September 2014

Football Focus

BRAZIL

The Brazil of old
Used to be a team of flow
A samba side with flare
Pass and move, give and go

The modern Brazil
Though, are a team of guile
Deceit and cunning
Replacing the cavalier style

The Twenty fourteen Brazil
Are a team of moments
But if they fail in them
They fail in tournament’s

BRAZIL 1970

The Brazil side was
The best I’ve ever seen
They were the best
Team that’s ever been

Pele, Rivelino and
Jairzinho, Holy Trinity
Of the Champions
In Nineteen seventy

THE MAGYARS CAME TO PLAY

In nineteen fifty three
The Magyars came to play
Bamboozling Billy Wright
The Beckham of his day
When Puskás dragged back
He made Billy Wright esquire
Look like a fire engine
Heading towards the wrong fire

On 25 November 1953, at Wembley Stadium
England 3 Hungary, Ferenc Puskás scored twice

BRAZIL ARE OUT - 2014

Brazil are out
But nobody figured
They’d be well
And truly Müllered

ARGENTINA V HOLLAND – BRAZIL 2014

At last the surprises are over
Forget what has gone before
We got a proper semi final
A complete and utter bore

WORLD CUP FINAL 2014

In big games teams are too afraid
To lose, which is a sin
So just throw caution to the wind
And go for the win


Friday 27 June 2014

A Little Bit Of Sport

TODAY’S PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALLERS

I think today’s professional footballers
Worry far too much about their hairstyle
And should pay as much attention to detail
On the training ground once in a while

ENGLAND IN BRAZIL 2014

You should always have a plan B
In Completive football I’d say
Unfortunately for England though
They neglected to have a plan A

BEER AND FOOTBALL

Beer and football are
As exciting for me
As handbags and shoes
Are for you, really

ENGLAND INEPT IN BRAZIL 2014

There has only been one thing
More inept than England and it
Is Alan Shearer’s pompously
Hapless performance as a pundit

YOU HAVE TO FEEL SORRY FOR PHIL NEVILLE

You have to feel sorry for Phil Neville
Compared to Gary, he was a lesser player
Now he would also appear to be
Second best as a football commentator
If he entered a Phil Neville lookalike contest
He would finish second to his brother

BEND IT LIKE URI –BRAZIL 2014

The reason England failed
So says a guy in a Favela
“It’s all the fault of that
Spoon bending fella”
“We’d have won if we hadn’t
Snubbed Uri Gellar”

IF FOOTBALLERS SPENT MORE TIME

If footballers spent more time
Training and practising their skills
Instead of feeling the sting
Of the tattoo artists drills
They would gain the fans respect
Instead of looking like utter pills

AN ITALIAN NIBBLE – BRAZIL 2014

Suarez should be hungry
Like all strikers
But for goals
And not other players

HEROES RETURN – BRAZIL 2014

England will fly home
Into Glasgow Airport
Thus ensuring, a heroes
Welcome of a sort

A QUICK BITE – BRAZIL 2014

Luis Suarez thought the response
To his biting Chiellini quite amazing
He couldn’t understand the outcry
As for a cannibal he was only grazing

THE CANNIBAL OF AJAX – BRAZIL 2014

Whether you call him Lucho
Or El Pistolero
Or the cannibal of Ajax
Or even El Conejo
Suarez needs to understand
Biting people is a no no

A SPANISH GOLFER WAS STABBED

A Spanish golfer was stabbed
Not multiple wounds, just the one
But nobody knew just exactly
Who it was made a hole in Juan

SUAREZ IS TOTALLY SCREWED – BRAZIL 2014

Now the evidence is viewed
And the enquiry will conclude
That Suarez is totally screwed
But what I think is rude
Is that he plays with his food

Friday 22 November 2013

This Sporting Life

BACK IN 1966

Back in 1966
When I was just a boy
I was full of pride
Watching Nobby’s jig of joy
And when Bobby Moore
Was raised shoulder high
Holding the World Cup
We all began to cry

I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT I COME

I am proud to say that I come
From a mixed race family
My mum was a sprinter
And dad did cross country

RED SOX

For a Bostonian
At his pleasure
Has a particular calling
When at his leisure

And that’s at Fenway Park
Where he spends the day
With kindred spirits watching
The Red Sox play

BLACK SOX

In the 1919 World Series
The Black Sox scandal took place
When the Chicago White Sox
Much to their disgrace
Threw the series
To the Reds of Cincinnati
An event of epic proportions
That will for ever live in infamy

Thursday 1 July 2010

World Cup South Africa 2010

FAIR PLAY DIAGO

At the world cup
Maradona has called for fair play
And he wants referees
To understand the meaning he says
He could perhaps give FIFA
An example of fair play
Like not punching the ball into the net
That would be one way

A DISAPPOINTING DRAW, ENGLAND 0, ALGERIA 0,

“We are disappointed with the draw
Against this piss poor team today”
“We consider it two points dropped”
Said a spokesman of the Algerian FA

DON CAPELLO

Don Capello spoke of the “Big Mistake”
And a big performance is his wish
But sadly the outspoken John Terry
Will tonight be sleeping with the fish

INTRUDER ALERT

After security failures
In South Africa
Surrounding England
In particular
FIFA want to ascertain
How certain individuals
Could gain entry
Without credentials
To England’s dressing room
The ones causing most worry
Were Emile Heskey
Glen Johnson and Gareth Barry

SINGING THE BLUES

They sing the homesick blues
“We miss our families”
These pampered prima donnas
Living in 5 star luxury

In Afghanistan they are home sick
They miss their families
The soldiers living in tents
Under fire from the enemy

They sing the we’re bored blues
“There‘s like nothing to do”
Like a bunch of seven year olds
Not men of over 22

We are so bored with these players
And their incessant whining
Waited on hand and foot
Living it up on 5 star dinning

They sing the we’re tired blues
Like we have any sympathy
Only having to play once a week
Then after training they are free

We’re tired waiting for our heroes
When eleven strangers appear
Where are the premiership stars?
Who play weekly without fear

We sing the England blues
As each tournament comes around
When each and every time
Our dreams lie tattered on the ground

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

I never expected us to win the cup
That was always inconceivable
But if we played to our potential
The Quarter finals were achievable

But when the first ball was kicked
They were more nightmare than dream
So I just wanted them to do their best
Clearly too much to ask of our team

POINTING THE FINGER

We were predictable, disorganized and poor
Our ineptitude was there for all to see
But as much as the players failed to turn up
And performed disappointingly
We were tactically bereft as well
Because Fabio Capello has no plan B

THEY’RE HAVING A LAUGH

Cole and King were seen
Laughing hysterically
Just a few hours
After defeat to Germany

I saw no humour
In the way England plays
In fact I haven’t laughed
For the past two days

A SWIFT EXIT

England left for the airport
On the wrong bus, apparently
For emblazoned on its side was
“Playing with pride and glory”

England’s bus was possibly stolen
You will recognise it quite easily
For emblazoned on its side is
“Playing with sloth and lethargy”

WELL MY LORD, SPAIN 1, PORTUGAL 0

Did you think Lord Triesman mad, for saying?
That referees might me bribed by Spain
If so, did watching the sending off of Costa
Give you any doubt and make you think again

CAPDEVILA, SPAIN 1, PORTUGAL 0

Capdevila has reached the pinnacle
Of herculean World Cup feats
He has joined the pantheon
Of notorious world cup cheats

LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE

We were rubbish in South Africa
But we should stop the whining
For no matter how black the cloud
There is always a silver lining

We were rubbish in South Africa
And we get no second chance
But at least we can safely say
That we were not as bad as France

INTERNATIONAL BAN

Goodluck Jonathon’s response to the failure
Of the Nigeria team in South Africa
Is to ban them from internationals
For the next two year which is radical

The English FA considered doing the same
For the good of the English game
But decided not to at an FA meeting
As no one would notice England not competing

HOWARDS END - SOUTH AFRICA 2010

Well England made it to the final
Though alas only the refereeing chap
But like the England team before him
Howard Webb was really crap

Thursday 26 November 2009

NICE ONE HENRY # 2

FIFA are on a mission
Disrespect for refs they want to defeat
An admirable ambition indeed
But first they need to stamp out cheats
Its spread from normal quarters
To Thierry Henry who to his ignominy
Handled the ball to keep it in play
A offence done quite deliberately
Which was compounded by his lie
That it happened accidentally