Showing posts with label Football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Football. Show all posts

Saturday 13 May 2023

THERE MAY HAVE BEEN SOME DOUBT

 

There may have been some doubt

As to his allegiance to the club

Denoted by replica shirt and shorts

But no such doubt existed in regard

To the authenticity of his jock strap

As we all know what they supports.

Sunday 7 May 2023

ARE YOU WEARING A TIRED EXPRESSION?

 

Are you wearing a tired expression?

There is also a hint of depression

I recognize that look on a man

You’re a Manchester United fan

Friday 5 May 2023

ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVES

 

Anyone who actually believes

That cheats never prosper

Have never seen defenders

Preparing to defend a corner

Tuesday 3 January 2023

ECCEDENTESIAST DESCRIBES SOMEONE

 

Eccedentesiast describes someone

Who hide their pain behind a smile

Football supporters are like that

Especially if you support Carlisle

Monday 7 March 2022

ALADDIN’S WISH

Aladdin rubbed his lamp

And a Genie did appear

You can have one wish

But only one he made clear

 

“I want to live forever”

Aladdin told the genie.
“I’m sorry” Came the reply

“You can’t wish for immortality”

 

“Living forever

Is against the regulations

You must think again

And revise your expectation”

 

“Do you have your wish?”

Aladdin answered “Yup”

“I want to live to see

England win the World Cup”

Tuesday 5 October 2021

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A TEA BAG

 

The difference between a tea bag

And Woking Football Club

Is a simple one to discover

A tea bag stays longer in the cup

Wednesday 28 July 2021

ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVES

 

Anyone who actually believes

That cheats never prosper

Have never seen defenders

Preparing to defend a corner

Thursday 22 July 2021

BEING AN ENGLAND SUPPORTER

 

Being an England supporter

At a World Cup or Euro’s melee

Is likened to over-optimistic parents

Of the fat kid on sports day

Sunday 18 July 2021

THERE MAY HAVE BEEN SOME DOUBT

 

There may have been some doubt

As to his allegiance to the club

Denoted by replica shirt and shorts

But no such doubt existed in regard

To the authenticity of his jock strap

As we all know what they supports.

Thursday 15 July 2021

THE TRANSFER WINDOW IS OPEN

 

The transfer window is open

Which is very exciting for fans like me

Especially when I’ve just heard

Foghorn Leghorn has signed for KFC

Saturday 3 July 2021

THE FIRST TIME I TOOK MY GIRLFRIEND HOME

 

The first time I took my girlfriend home

So that my mum could meet her

She wore a big green shirt and huge gloves

And my mum said she was a keeper

Saturday 9 January 2021

NOBBY AND THE JIG OF JOY

 

The first time I became aware of Nobby Stiles I was a young boy of ten and it was the world cup finals of 1966.

It would probably seem odd to many football fans that out of all the talent on show in England that summer, players like Pele, Beckenbauer or Eusabio, I was most impressed by the diminutive Manchester man, Nobby.

I have often wondered myself and I think that the great players had been much heralded in the lead up to the finals and they merely did what was expected of them but Nobby I had not heard of before he was different.

 

He tackled hard and was a tough no nonsense player who could read the game so well being blessed with great tactical awareness but my most enduring image’s of him was the toothless grin and his jig of joy after England won the world cup.

It was that victory dance showing his excitement and obvious love for the game.

It was seeing Nobby play that led me to support United as I still do today.

 

Norbert Peter Stiles was born in Collyhurst Manchester 18th may 1942 and he stood at the Stretford End like many a young lad and dreamt of playing for United but for him it came true.

For eleven years he played his Club football for Manchester United making his debut for them away at Bolton on 1st of October 1960.

Apart from winning the world cup with England in 1966 he won two League Championship medals with United and as In the 1966 World Cup Semi-Final against Portugal it was his job to stop Eusebio “the Black Panther” when united met Benfica in the 1968 European Cup Final which he did and added a European Cup winner's medal to his collection.

 

Nobby Stiles was and still is Man United through and through he returned to United in the 80’s as youth team coach were he brought on the likes of Giggs, Beckham and the Neville’s.

 

In 2000 his contribution to the game was finally recognized when he received an O.B.E. along with his other previously unrecognized England teammates from 1966.

 

Not before time.


Thursday 4 September 2014

Football Focus

BRAZIL

The Brazil of old
Used to be a team of flow
A samba side with flare
Pass and move, give and go

The modern Brazil
Though, are a team of guile
Deceit and cunning
Replacing the cavalier style

The Twenty fourteen Brazil
Are a team of moments
But if they fail in them
They fail in tournament’s

BRAZIL 1970

The Brazil side was
The best I’ve ever seen
They were the best
Team that’s ever been

Pele, Rivelino and
Jairzinho, Holy Trinity
Of the Champions
In Nineteen seventy

THE MAGYARS CAME TO PLAY

In nineteen fifty three
The Magyars came to play
Bamboozling Billy Wright
The Beckham of his day
When Puskás dragged back
He made Billy Wright esquire
Look like a fire engine
Heading towards the wrong fire

On 25 November 1953, at Wembley Stadium
England 3 Hungary, Ferenc Puskás scored twice

BRAZIL ARE OUT - 2014

Brazil are out
But nobody figured
They’d be well
And truly Müllered

ARGENTINA V HOLLAND – BRAZIL 2014

At last the surprises are over
Forget what has gone before
We got a proper semi final
A complete and utter bore

WORLD CUP FINAL 2014

In big games teams are too afraid
To lose, which is a sin
So just throw caution to the wind
And go for the win


Friday 27 June 2014

A Little Bit Of Sport

TODAY’S PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALLERS

I think today’s professional footballers
Worry far too much about their hairstyle
And should pay as much attention to detail
On the training ground once in a while

ENGLAND IN BRAZIL 2014

You should always have a plan B
In Completive football I’d say
Unfortunately for England though
They neglected to have a plan A

BEER AND FOOTBALL

Beer and football are
As exciting for me
As handbags and shoes
Are for you, really

ENGLAND INEPT IN BRAZIL 2014

There has only been one thing
More inept than England and it
Is Alan Shearer’s pompously
Hapless performance as a pundit

YOU HAVE TO FEEL SORRY FOR PHIL NEVILLE

You have to feel sorry for Phil Neville
Compared to Gary, he was a lesser player
Now he would also appear to be
Second best as a football commentator
If he entered a Phil Neville lookalike contest
He would finish second to his brother

BEND IT LIKE URI –BRAZIL 2014

The reason England failed
So says a guy in a Favela
“It’s all the fault of that
Spoon bending fella”
“We’d have won if we hadn’t
Snubbed Uri Gellar”

IF FOOTBALLERS SPENT MORE TIME

If footballers spent more time
Training and practising their skills
Instead of feeling the sting
Of the tattoo artists drills
They would gain the fans respect
Instead of looking like utter pills

AN ITALIAN NIBBLE – BRAZIL 2014

Suarez should be hungry
Like all strikers
But for goals
And not other players

HEROES RETURN – BRAZIL 2014

England will fly home
Into Glasgow Airport
Thus ensuring, a heroes
Welcome of a sort

A QUICK BITE – BRAZIL 2014

Luis Suarez thought the response
To his biting Chiellini quite amazing
He couldn’t understand the outcry
As for a cannibal he was only grazing

THE CANNIBAL OF AJAX – BRAZIL 2014

Whether you call him Lucho
Or El Pistolero
Or the cannibal of Ajax
Or even El Conejo
Suarez needs to understand
Biting people is a no no

A SPANISH GOLFER WAS STABBED

A Spanish golfer was stabbed
Not multiple wounds, just the one
But nobody knew just exactly
Who it was made a hole in Juan

SUAREZ IS TOTALLY SCREWED – BRAZIL 2014

Now the evidence is viewed
And the enquiry will conclude
That Suarez is totally screwed
But what I think is rude
Is that he plays with his food

Tuesday 3 December 2013

The Busby Babes

CALLOUS UNITED – BLANCHFLOWER AND BERRY

Manchester United’s
Callous attitude
So cold and harsh
Towards the survivors
Beggared belief
And was never more
Keenly felt than when,
They could no longer play
Jackie Blanchflower
And fellow survivor Berry
Were forced to vacate
The homes they lived in

THE BUSBY BABES - THE HOLLYWOOD OF BRITISH FOOTBALL

Bright lights
Shining like stars
In the twinkling
Football firmament
Sparkling lights
From gritty towns
In the shadow of the
Dark satanic mills
Shining out from
Industrial heartlands
Like beacons
Bright lights of youth
Illuminating the lives
Of the terraced fans
Young men from the dark
Industrial landscapes
Youth’s bright flames
Snuffed out
In the snows of Munich

THE HERO OF MUNICH

In the wake of tragedy
Harry Gregg arose
And with no thought
Of himself
Pulled survivors
From the burning plane
Assisted latterly
By Bill Foulkes
Though he thought
His action unremarkable
George Best, said of him
“Bravery is one thing
But what Harry did
Was about more than bravery.
It was about goodness”

CALLOUS UNITED - GREGG AND FOULKES

Manchester United’s
Callous attitude
So cold and harsh
Towards the survivors
Beggared belief
And was never more
Keenly felt than when,
Only days after
The Munich Disaster
Gregg and Foulkes,
Though traumatised
And grieving and feeling
The guilt of the survivor
Were forced to play
Afterwards Harry Gregg
And Bill Foulkes
Forced to play too soon
With the guilt of the survivor
Sat in the dressing room
Staring with empty eyes

A MARK OF RESPECT – ARE YOU LISTENING LEEDS UTD

In the aftermath of Munich
All of football felt the loss
In an altogether more
Caring and respectful time
When fans of all teams
Out of respect, wore black
And stadia were universally quiet

IN TRAGEDIES WAKE – MUNICH 1958

At Old Trafford
In tragedies wake
In the eerie quiet
The terraces echoed
The mournful silence
And even the empty
Seats shed tears
For The busby babes

JOHN "JACKIE" BLANCHFLOWER (7 MARCH 1933 – 2 SEPTEMBER 1998)

Nicknamed "Twiggy"
John "Jackie" Blanchflower
Survived the wreckage
Amidst the snows of Munich
Though the crash didn’t end his life
It did bring his footballing career
To an untimely end

GO NOW BILL

WILLIAM ANTHONY "BILL" FOULKES - (5 JANUARY 1932 – 25 NOVEMBER 2013)

Go now Bill
Lay down the captain’s armband
You’ve earned your rest
Our tower of strength
Straight backed
Rugged and dependable
Take your place
Among your equals
And be at peace

Your strong facade
Oft betrayed
By sadness in your eyes
The sadness of survival
So go now Bill
And join the babes
You’ve missed so much
And take your place
Among immortals

JOHN JAMES "JOHNNY" BERRY (1 JUNE 1926 – 16 SEPTEMBER 1994)

The Forgotten Babe
John James "Johnny" Berry
Survived the wreckage
Amidst the snows of Munich
Though the crash didn’t end his life
He never played again

Friday 22 November 2013

This Sporting Life

BACK IN 1966

Back in 1966
When I was just a boy
I was full of pride
Watching Nobby’s jig of joy
And when Bobby Moore
Was raised shoulder high
Holding the World Cup
We all began to cry

I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT I COME

I am proud to say that I come
From a mixed race family
My mum was a sprinter
And dad did cross country

RED SOX

For a Bostonian
At his pleasure
Has a particular calling
When at his leisure

And that’s at Fenway Park
Where he spends the day
With kindred spirits watching
The Red Sox play

BLACK SOX

In the 1919 World Series
The Black Sox scandal took place
When the Chicago White Sox
Much to their disgrace
Threw the series
To the Reds of Cincinnati
An event of epic proportions
That will for ever live in infamy

Wednesday 28 August 2013

Wide World Of Sport

WE HAVE A GREAT WELSH INTERNATIONAL

We have a great Welsh international
Known affectionately as Griff
Well when I say he’s Welsh
His parents once went to Cardiff

BERNHARD CARL "BERT" TRAUTMANN, OBE

(22 OCTOBER 1923 – 19 JULY 2013)

We have just seen the passing of a true sporting legend.
Bert Trautmann was born and bred during the toughest of times to be a german, during the inter-war years.
During the second world war he fought for three years as a paratrooper on the Eastern Front, where he was awarded five medals one of which being the Iron Cross.
But it was towards the end of the war that he was transferred to the Western Front where he was captured by the British.
He spent his captivity in a prisoner-of-war camp in Lancashire at Ashton-in-Makerfield, where he worked on the land until his release date in 1948.
At that point Trautmann refused repatriation, and chose instead to settle in Lancashire continuing to work on the land as a farm labourer.
In his spare time he played as a goalkeeper for his local football team St Helens Town. Where his performances brought him to the attention of First Division side Manchester City for whom he signed in October 1949.
However in a City that suffered terribly at the hands of the Luftwaffe the club's decision to sign a former German paratrooper sparked huge protests.
But through his performances he won over all but the hardest hearts and was accepted,
It was in 1956 that Bert Trautmann entered football folklore when he played for Man City in the FA Cup Final against Birmingham City and played the last 17 minutes of the match with a broken neck on the way to winning the cup.
He continued to play for Manchester City until his retirement in 1964 after making 545 appearances for the club.
In 2004 he was honoured with the Order of the British Empire (OBE),

WE HAVE A MIDFIELD GENERAL # 1

We have a midfield General
Who’s really completive and hard
But everyone that we play
Just think he’s a dirty bastard

IN THE PROGRAM THEY SAY

In the program they say
He’s a real seasoned player
But what they really mean
Is he’s past it the poor geezer

IN THE PROGRAM THEY SAY OF HIM

In the program they say of him
That he is a loyal player to the team
But in truth no other club
Will have him it would seem

VERY ECONOMICAL WITH THE BALL

Very economical with the ball
That is a quality worth merit
Our captain is only economical
As he’s too slow to get near it

WE HAVE A GREAT IRISH INTERNATIONAL

We have a great Irish international
By the name of Kevin O’Rourke
Well when I say he’s Irish
His parents once went to Cork

OUR TEAM PLAY AT AN HISTORIC GROUND

Our team play at an historic ground
We on the terraces all proudly roar
All the visiting fans shout in reply
That it’s an old run down eye sore

WE HAVE A MIDFIELD GENERAL # 2

We have a midfield General
Highly talented but temperamental
A hard working terrier
But on a bad day he’s just mental

IF YOUR TEAM IS DOING WELL

If your team is doing well
You can carry a player with flare
But if they’re doing badly
He’s no more than a waste of air

IF NANI WAS IN YOUR TEAM

If Nani was in your team
Would you enjoy his flare?
Well I can tell it has its place
But he just shows off to be fair

I WAS DRIVING HOME AFTER THE MATCH

I was driving home after the match
Listening to the report on the BBC
It was described as a fascinating contest
Which surprised the hell out of me
Far from being an interesting match
It was the most boring thing you could see

HE’S AN INSTINCTIVE PLAYER

He’s an instinctive player
A natural and prodigious talent
Or so they say, I think its
More by luck than judgment

BERT TRAUTMANN

Goalkeeper Bert Trautmann
Was from a different age
When top flight players
Were not spoilt and pampered
He didn’t live in a mansion
Or have a selection of sports cars
To get to work on match days
From his home in Stockport
To Maine road in Manchester
He had to catch two buses.

WE HAVE A GREAT SCOTTISH INTERNATIONAL

We have a great Scottish international
By the name of Jim McKee
Well when I say he’s a Scottish
His parents once went to Dundee

Wednesday 15 February 2012

A QUESTION OF SPORT

A GAME OF ARRA’S

Me and some friends
Fancied a game of darts
I said, “Nearest the bull
To see who starts”
Johnny went “Woof”
And I went “Baah”
Then Danny went “Moo”
He was the closest by far

GOOD OLD FIFA

Good old FIFA
Are getting very fat
With a fee for this
And a fee for that

A GAME OF ALL FOURS

When she suggested
A game of all fours
I thought that meant
Getting into her drawers
But no I was wrong
Which is a shame
It turns out “all fours”
Is just a card game


ACED

My uncle sadly died at Wimbledon
He was a killed by a tennis ball
I wasn’t too sad at the funeral
It was a lovely service after all

ARE YOU WEARING PLUS FOURS?

Are you wearing plus fours?
Well they look just the job
The tweeds with argyle socks
But you do look like a nob

ARE YOU WEARING PLUS TWOS?

Are you wearing plus twos?
Well listen, here’s the bad news
It looks as though the plus twos
Have fallen out with your shoes

ARE YOU WEARING OLYMPIC SUITS?

Are you wearing Olympic suits?
Well you’re looking very smart
You’re Essex lads aren’t you?
I bet you can’t wait for it to start
You will show to the world at large
That you have good hearts
When you’re lighting the torches
Show us you possess some smarts
For I hope there is more to you
When the 2012 Olympiad starts
Than dropping your tailored trousers
And lighting up your farts

OK MY LITTLE SEX POODLE

“Ok my little sex poodle
Get up those stairs right now
Quickly get up those stairs
You horny little cow”

“Oh you sweet talker
You have the gift and how
I’m your spanky sex poodle
I’m your willing little frau”

“No I mean it get upstairs
You don’t have to kowtow
Just get upstairs without delay
The match is starting now”

THE BEST IN THE WORLD

I wont hear a word against our tennis players
It’s true that they certainly have their detractors
But I have always thought British players
Make truly world-class tennis commentators

Friday 5 August 2011

FIFA

Guardians of the game,
Holders of the purse strings
The doers of deals
Honest as the day is…..

On the other hand

Financially
Incongruous
Finagling
Acquiescence

Guardians of the game,
Well respected,
Famed for their integrity
Their stewardship and
Honest endeavour

On the other hand

Few
In
Football
Agree

The beautiful game,
Is the life blood
Coursing through their veins
These guardians,
These stewards and rule makers
It fills their every waking moment

On the other hand
They actually think

Football
Is interesting
For
About a minute

Guardians of the game,
Holders of the purse strings
The doers of deals
Honest as the day is…..

On the other hand
They are

First
In
For
All the dosh

The beautiful game,
Is the life blood
Coursing through their veins
These guardians,
These stewards and rule makers
It fills their every waking moment

On the other hand
They are:

Frauds
Interested in
Football
A little

Thursday 21 July 2011

THE BUSBY BABESS A TALE OF HEROES

A TALE OF HEROES

Young heroes returning
From a far off foreign field
With hard fought victory won
Where the valiant refused to yield

Like heroes from Homers Iliad
Exalted in the legends
But in the Germanic snows
The heroes journey ends

As the Gods of winter struck
Fire and ice took its toll
And the names were duly writ
Upon an eternal honour roll

Geoff Bent, Roger Byrne (Capt)
Duncan Edwards, Billy Whelan
David Pegg, Tommy Taylor
Mark Jones and Eddie Colman

THE SURVING BABES OF MUNICH

Morgans and Blanchflower
Never played again
Some played to soon
Some could never play the same

Some were cast aside
Some fullfilled there destiny
But none were unscathed
After the tradgedy

Those who remained
Of the team Busby built
All survived the horror
But lived with the guilt

THE BUSBY BABES REPLAYED

The Busby Babes were sublime
The best by far in their time
And when eight of their number
Went to their eternal slumber
They went straight to heaven
To join St Peters first XI

THE BUSBY BABES

The young lads played the game
The Busby Babes was their name
Though they played like magic
They embraced tragedy in Munich
Their plane crashing in the snow
The wreckage burning all aglow
Eigth of their magnificent number
Would not see another summer

JIMMY MURPHY 6TH FEBRUARY 1958

In those brief moments,
Jimmy was happy,
On top of the world.
He had reached the pinnacle
Wales in the World Cup Finals
United in the European semis
Life was good
Life was very good indeed

Then the news came
Of a crash in the snow
And suddenly
Life wasn’t so good.
Information,
Patchy at first
Trickled in,
Not all reliable
Miss information
Spread like the plague,
Then the facts emerged
From amongst the fictions
So many dead
So many lost
And for the living
Life would never be the same

Jimmy blamed himself
For being so smug
For being so happy
For being alive

MANCHESTER UNITED DARKEST HOUR

Broken in he twisted wreckage
The victims of Munics winter carnage
Crashing in the snow and ice
There would have to be a fearful price
And when the bill was finally reckoned
Deaths reaper grimly beckoned
Towards the twenty three poor souls
That appeared on his fearsome rolls
Young men cut down in their prime
Older ones who thought they’d more time
Were all taken from that grissly place
To feel the breath of heaven on their face
Taking the souls who died in the snow
To where the innocents and the heroes go